Today Brian has been in Heaven for a month. It seems unreal. Some days it seems like yesterday and then other days it feels like a year ago. Today was harder than I expected, but with a lot of tears and prayers... I got through it!
This has definitely been the hardest month of my life. I have cried more tears than I thought was humanly possible. The nights and mornings are the hardest. I don't want to go to sleep because I know he won't be here by me when I wake up. Then I just have to relive the hurt every morning. I know it will become more bearable but right now it is just hard! Oh how I miss him...
I know that Brian is in Heaven telling me to be strong and not to cry! It gives me comfort thinking about him watching over me! I also know that since there is no time in Heaven, Brian is not missing me because in the blink of an eye I will be there with him! I am so thankful he does not feel the pain of missing me! Last night I read the book "Heaven is a Real Place." It is a story about little boy who went to Heaven and came back. Reading his story was reassuring that Brian is having the time of his life with Jesus. What a wonderful place Heaven must be!
Please continue to keep me and both our families in your prayers! I just keep trusting in Jesus that He is taking care of me! I can remember talking with Brian soooo many times about how God was his strength. He could not imagine how anyone could go through brain cancer without faith. Well now I am thinking the same thing about losing my love. I do not know how anyone could go through this without the love of Jesus and the faith that I will be with Brian for eternity!
Matthew 5:4
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
peace and love
Shea
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5 comments:
Jesus Wept! Correct me if I am wrong, but it is the shortest verse in the BIBLE!! Even Jesus who as you know was the STRONGEST of THE STRONG, wept!! Tears are not a sign of weakness, they are just part of the grieving process. You have show such strength, and I just bet that Brian is looking down and smiling, and thinking, In the Blink of an eye, we will be together again. God has great plans for you my dear niece. God will never forsake or leave you, and he will protect you. Love A Cindi
Will keep praying for you, sweet friend. You have an amazing faith. I'm praying for you to have daily reminders of God's goodness. Love you!
Sweet Shea, I have to agree with Cindi. Even Jesus wept! He treasures those tears and catches every one of them in His hands. God is sooo good, and He is so proud of you -
proud of you for fighting so hard, for loving so hard, and for living with every ounce of energy you've got. Don't ever stop! YOU are showing God's character and God's grace, and every one of us see Him when we look at you. We see Brian and how proud He is of you, too. Fighting with you, Shea!! Can't wait for the blink of an eye!
Shea ... I know Brian is so proud of you as we are but more importantly Jesus is! I wish I lived in Amarillo so I could help you! I know when we go to heaven there will be no more tears and or sorrow. Your faith in Jesus makes mine seem so I adequate ... I love you with all my heart...if it were humanly possible for me to trade places with you I would in the blink of an eye! Mamaw told me when I was having a hard time when Brian first was sick that we are only as happy as our my miserable child .....so very true ..not a minute goes by that I don't wish it were me.... I love you maybe we can see you Sunday!!!!! Mom
Shea -
I can't imagine being in your shoes! My husband spent several months away while going through Med School and I thought that was hard and miserable! I think of you often and read your blog weekly...I pray for you constantly! I pray that He will continue to wrap His arms around you tightly and give you peace and rest at night! I just keep getting this picture of Him holding you soo tight and brushing your hair with his hands and as your tears fall He catches them in his hands...your arms are wrapped around HIm and you are gazing into His eyes...He LOVES you!! Just think...the love you have for Brian...Jesus' love for you is soo much greater!! I never really understood how fully He loves us as His children until I had my own...the Love I have for my child is unreal and to think Jesus loves me soo much more blows me away!! Your faith is a testimony not only to me but to several others...(I konw you hear that over and over) :) Stay strong!!!
Stacy Ehle
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