No Step For A Stepper Like Me!

Love Jesus Hate Cancer

2011-10-11T16:20:00.001-07:00

It is that time of year again!! I have registered and started a team to join the fight against the brain tumors. The National Brain Tumor Foundation will be holding the National Brain Tumor Angel Walk on November 5th at Trinity Park in Fort Worth. This is a 3.1 mile inspirational fundraising walk and the proceeds go towards supporting brain tumor research.

If you would like to participate or help by donating to our team you can do that by visiting our page here. If you are in the DFW area and would like to walk with me; I would LOVE to have you by my side! To register for the walk you can copy and paste this link into your url.
www.braintumorcommunity.org/goto/Lovejesus
There you can register to join our team “Love Jesus Hate Cancer.”

I know that it is going to be so very emotional at the walk this year. This is my 3rd year to walk, but first year to walk without Brian. Raising awareness has taken on a new understanding for me. Before, I walked to find a cure for Brian. Now I will walk so that no one else has to go through what I have had to over the past 10 months. The Brain tumor community is growing everyday and it is more important than ever to find a cure! Just this week, I learned of a girl that is 27 and was diagnosed just 2 weeks ago and her wedding was scheduled for this coming weekend. As you can imagine this hit very close to home. The difference is this.... She had to cancel her wedding because things were progressing so very quickly. As I prayed for healing for this sweet girl I was brought to tears by how lucky I was to have an absolutely beautiful and perfect wedding with the most handsome groom! Please help me in finding a cure so that sweet girl can have her dream wedding, and no one else will have to be a widow at 28!

Thanks for all your prayers and support! I hope to see some of you on November 5th! Here are a few pictures from last years brain tumor walk. This was just 5 weeks before Brian was healed in Heaven! Hard to believe....

Brian and I with Dr. Mickey

Our shirts

Uncle Brian and Sweet Chloe

Peace and Love
Shea

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Saddle Up!

2011-08-18T21:40:00.001-07:00

It is that time of year again! School starts on Monday morning. I can to believe how fast this summer went.

When look back at my summer..... I see that I did a lot of nothing, and I needed that. I did spend some time in gruver with family. I love going home to gruver and just being able to be myself. I don't have to pretend that life is PERFECT, but with my family I can just be me. I do have to say I have the very best family...I can't imagine where I would be without them! Not to mention, those sweet nieces and nephews do keep me smiling. I am sure you will agree after looking at these pictures!

The Denver mission trip was so amazing. Yes I know... I should have blogged about it long ago. We took about 100 high school students into some really rough parts of Denver, and they served in so many ways. They spend a lot of time working with the homeless and showered them with love. The first night we were there we went on a prayer walk on a street covered by homeless. I have to admit I was really nervous, so I can't imagine how the kids were feeling. At first I found that the leaders were the only ones who would pray out loud with the homeless, but but the end of the week the students were begging to do prayer walks and pray with them. It was so cool to see how much they grew in one week!

Yesterday Brian had been in heaven for 8 months. As always... Those month markers are hard! I kept myself busy in my room and with friends, but when I got home it all hit me like a ton a bricks. It has been 8 months since I have seem that perfect smile, kissed his beautiful lips, or heard his contagious laugh. So.... I cried.... A Lot! Then I looked through pictures and cried some more. As I cried I found my self being so thankful for the time was given with him. The memories I have bring me so much joy, but with that being said, they sure don't make me miss him any less! I know he is watching over me, and as I cry over it being 8 months, he celebrates 8 months in paradise. sometimes it is good to just cry.

Now I find my self back in Amarillo about to start my 6th year of teaching, and I can already see God working. This year I will have a student who lost his dad to brain cancer this summer. I know he was placed in my class for a special reason! The way I look at it is that this year can't be worse than last year, so I will pull up my boot straps and saddle up for a new year!

Philippians 1:3
I thank my God every time I remember you.

Peace and love
Shea

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Seven Months in Heaven

2011-07-18T00:02:00.001-07:00

It seems unreal that Brian has been in heaven for seven months! It still feels like it was yesterday! I miss him so much! The month anniversaries always seem to be the hardest. I could go on and on about how much I miss him, but words would not do it justice! I get through the day knowing he is WELL, and I will see him soon! Thank you Jesus!

I have had so many sleepless nights and hours to be alone in the last seven months. God has reviled Himself in so many ways. From the highest of highs to the lowest of lows, He is always with me! During the past few months, One truth that I have found so much comfort in is that God loved and trusted me enough with Brian! As much as I still claim Brian... The reality is that he was never mine! He always belonged to God! I feel so honored that God picked me to be Brian's wife and that He trusted me with Brian's heart! God knew the road we were about to embark on, and He chose me..... So overwhelming! He was never mine, but I sure am glad God shared him with me!

As I write this, I am in Denver on a mission trip with the youth. It definitely made my day brighter watching these amazing kids further the kingdom! I know Brian and God were proud!

As always, thank you so very much for all the prayers and support! Where would I be without them..... Oh I don't even want to think about that!

peace and love
Shea

Romans 14:7-8 (NIV)
For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

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5 months

2011-05-17T20:34:00.001-07:00

I can't believe that it has been 5 months! Brian has been in heaven for five months and I have missed him for five months! Five months is how long we were engaged and how long he did his last type of chemo. Five months is such a short amount of time to most, but to me it seems like a lifetime! In the end it is just time, and I know Brian is not dwelling on five months like I am. That is the beauty of heaven.... There is no time! Most would not think of time as being a bad thing, but to a parent waiting for a call from a lost child, to a child waiting to open a gift on their birthday, to a sweet young girl waiting for her Hero to come home from Iraq, or me....waiting to see my love again; time can become a negative aspect of this life! So it makes sense...

Of course there is no time in heaven.... God is so amazing!

So, until that day that day comes...I will continue to wait and become more excited each day knowing I am one day closer to dancing on the streets of gold with Brian and praising my Jesus! Happy 5 months in heaven Brian!

Thank you for all your prayers and support! I can't imagine where I would be without them! Many blessings!

Peace and love
Shea

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Testimony

2011-05-10T19:11:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow I will be giving my testimony at epicenter (wednesday night youth.) It is Brian and I's story, but God is the main character. The last few weeks there have been over 600 youth. Danger.... That makes me a little nervous. This is such an amazing opportunity to reach so many kids! Please pray for me tomorrow evening. I pray that God makes me an open vessel and allows our story to further the kingdom!

Peace and love
Shea

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Blessings...

2011-05-09T20:54:00.001-07:00

I have so many things I could blog about. Since I have last blogged, so much has happened, but yet it is still all the same. I am still grieving the loss of my love, and some days are better than others. I spend a lot of time alone, but it is good... It allows me to spend time with Jesus and process this thing called life!

My dear friend Kallie reminded me of a song that I have not heard in a while. I have listened to it many times, but never have the words meant so much to me. It is crazy how the simple words in a song can have little relevance one day, and then rock your world the next.

Blessings

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

By Laura Story

I know that as I cry He is healing my heart and as the sleepless night seem to never end....I am blessed!

Thank you so much for all of your faithful prayers! I know that God hears them and I can feel them! I have so much to be thankful for in this life.... Many blessings!!

peace and love
Shea

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Happy Birthday Luke

2011-03-25T17:21:00.001-07:00

I want to share an email I received today. This is from one of my former students. I became very close to his family when I taught in Southlake. Brian stayed with them during his radiation treatments and their home was an open door to us over the past 3 years. Luke and his sister were even in our wedding. Their entire family has been there with us through our journey and supported us with their love and prayers! They became so much for than friends.... They became our family! I love you Millican family!

Friends and Family,

In December, our family lost a great friend, Brian Lair, to brain cancer. He had just celebrated his marriage to Shea, my 3rd grade teacher, over Labor Day weekend and didn’t deserve to pass away so soon. He had an amazing spirit about life and his illness!

Since he died, I have learned that one out of three women and one out of two men will be diagnosed with cancer during their lifetime. That means all of us have either had cancer or known someone who has been diagnosed with cancer.

Tomorrow, I will get to celebrate my 13th birthday. That’s why this year I’m donating my upcoming birthday on March 25th to the American Cancer Society - because it is the largest not-for-profit cancer research contributor in American. Instead of getting presents this year, I’m asking people to donate in order to create a world with less cancer and more birthdays.

I plan to donate $1 for every person that helps me donate. Please join me by making a donation of any amount and leave a message with your story. You can find my link on www.relayforlife.org/southlaketx. Click on donate, donate to a participant, then search for a participant (Luke Millican). You can also choose to purchase a luminaria (used during the 10pm ceremony) in honor of a survivor or loved one lost.

Together we can raise funds for the American Cancer Society and help people stay well, get well, fund cures and fight back. We all know someone who is affected by cancer. Let’s do it for them, and let’s do it for my friend, Brian. If you know of someone that might want to join this cause, feel free to pass along.

Thanks for your help!

Luke Millican

I am amazed by Luke's unselfishness at such a young age! A 13th birthday is a pretty big deal. Most kids are asking and expecting the newest and coolest gift. Not luke.... He just want to raise money for people like Brian. What an amazing young man!

Happy Birthday Luke!! I am so proud of you Luke, and I know that Brian is looking down on us and he is grinning from ear to ear because he is also so proud of you!

Peace and love
Shea

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The Shack

2011-03-06T20:03:00.001-08:00

I have no words but wow! This weekend I spend the a lot of my time reading The Shack. Amazing!! I have heard so many mixed reviews on this book and it made me a little hesitant of reading it. I am so very glad I did! I do have to say that you have to have a VERY open mind when reading it. I found myself crying and laughing multiple times. It reinforced so many truths about the true spirit of God! It also broke down barriers that I did not even know that I had.

Bottom line is God is good. He is only good! He wants to be in a deep relationship with me and involved every aspect of my life! Although I have had a rough go these past few months, He has never left my side! He is good and He can make good of any situation. I have known this to be true, it is always good to be reminded!

I am so glad my sweet friend Lindsay recommended this book to me! If you haven't read it.... just give it a chance! It might just open your heart and mind!

Peace and Love
Shea

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Hard Week

2011-02-17T18:39:00.001-08:00

This week has been a hard week it started with valentines day on Monday. This day was harder than I ever imagined. Neither Brian or I ever made a big deal out of valentines, but I was not prepared for how hard this day would be. DANGER..... I am so glad this day only comes once a year! I do have so say that my friends and family are what got me through it. I went to dinner with my family and Brian's family. To say the least, they made it very special. It was a day that I missed Brian more than you can imagine, but at the same time I felt so incredibly loved!

I had a couple of days to recover before today hit me. Today it has been two months since Brian went to be with Jesus! So bitter sweet..... I am so glad he is healed and living in paradise, but I miss him!! I just miss him.

It is crazy for me to think that two months feels like eternity to me, but to Brian it is nothing! Over the past few weeks I have been reading a lot about heaven. One of the things that has brought me the most peace is reading and learning more about God's perfect timing and the fact that there is NO time in heaven. The pain that I have from missing Brian is present because of time. It gives me such comfort knowing that Brian is not "waiting" on me to get there. I would never want him to feel the pain of being separated from me that I feel! Our life is just a vapor, and although it seems like it will be forever until I see that beautiful face again, I know that Brian is going to blink his eyes one day and I will be there with him! So as I am crying here on Earth I know Brian is helping prepare a place for me with a huge smile on his face knowing I will be there soon!

Thank you so much for your unending support and faithful prayers. This is the hardest thing I have ever been through but it helps so much knowing I am not alone.

Peace and love
Shea

Psalm 71:20-21
Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.

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Memories

2011-02-10T19:19:00.001-08:00

I watched Grey's Anatomy tonight for the first time in a long time. When the show started it showed Meredith doing a neuro assessment. It is a test that they do on brain tumor patients each doctors visit. It is very simple....they tell the patient 3 words to remember and then ask them to repeat them later during the assessment. This brought such vivid memories. I saw Brian do this same assessment numerous times. Words like apple, Chicago, chair, world, and others go through my mind. These are all words Brian had to remember at different times. The amazing thing is that Brian never once forgot a word. Each time I would anxiously wait to see if he would forget the words, because that would tell us his short term memory had been affected. It never was! Brian always credited it to his many years of selling cars and having to remember customers names! There is one time that I can remember sitting at MD Anderson by Greg, we both forgot the words by the time they asked Brian to repeat them, but Brian always remembered them!

I am soooooooo thankful that God blessed me with an amazing memory. I take after my Mam in that way! Her memory is second to none!!! I am able to remember so many precious things about Brian, and those memories are what get me through the day! It's the little things that randomly pop in my head that make me smile! His smile, amazing laugh, great hugs, among so many more. I will cherish these forever! Likewise, I will never forget the many doctors appointments and neuro tests! They are all wonderful memories!

My heart had to smile when Bryn told me that my two year old nephew was playing a few days ago like he was on the phone talking to Uncle Brian! This is a pretty big deal because he doesn't say just anyones name! I am so thankful he remembers Brian, and I do believe that Brian was talking to him!

So many wonderful memories..... Memories are a gift and I am so thankful I am blessed with such great ones!

peace and love
shea

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This Little Light

2011-01-24T21:55:00.001-08:00

This Little Light Of Mine
Addison Road

There's a little flame inside a soul
Some shine bright
Some shine small
The rains will come
And the waters rise
But don't you ever lose your light

In this life you will know
Love and pain
Joy and sorrow
So when it hurts
When times get hard
Don't forget who's child you are

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm Gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine

May you live each day
With no regret
Make the most of every chance you get
And your eyes get wide
When you look at the stars
With the same sense of wonder as a child's heart

With the ones you love
Treasure the time
And for those who are gone
Keep the memories alive

Hold on to your dreams
Don't ever let go
There's a fire inside you
Burning with hope

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine

There will be days when you wanna give up
When clouds settle in
But after the rain comes the sun
Don't you ever forget
Don't forget
Don't, don't forget

One day there will be no more pain
And we will finally see Jesus' face
So until then I'm gonna try
To brave the dark
And let my little light shine

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Gonna let it shine
Oh, shine
Gonna let it shine
There's a little light inside us all

I heard this song today and it spoke volumes to me! I DO have a light, and although it is dim and shines so small right now it is still a light. The clouds have settled in and I am so anxious to see the sun again! I know that both Brian and Jesus are wanting my light to shine. As I learn to let my light shine brighter, Brian's story and his faith will shine through me, and God will get all the glory! Just like the song says.... Then one day I will see Jesus' face, but until then I will work on letting my light shine!

Now hurry, go download this song....AMAZING!!

Peace and love
shea

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Nephew Therapy

2011-01-19T18:45:00.001-08:00

I have posted several pictures of my beautiful nieces with Brian, but I have not posted any of my nephews. Here are a couple of precious picture of them. They are just perfect! Cooper is 2 and Beck is almost 4 months old! I am pretty sure that God gave me 2 nieces and 2 nephews to make me laugh and get me threw these hard times! They are some cute blessings!! Brian sure did think they were special and so do I!!!

Cooper Brock

Love this one!

Baby Beck

So sweet....

Peace and love
Shea

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One month or eternity

2011-01-17T23:00:00.000-08:00

Today Brian has been in Heaven for a month. It seems unreal. Some days it seems like yesterday and then other days it feels like a year ago. Today was harder than I expected, but with a lot of tears and prayers... I got through it!

This has definitely been the hardest month of my life. I have cried more tears than I thought was humanly possible. The nights and mornings are the hardest. I don't want to go to sleep because I know he won't be here by me when I wake up. Then I just have to relive the hurt every morning. I know it will become more bearable but right now it is just hard! Oh how I miss him...

I know that Brian is in Heaven telling me to be strong and not to cry! It gives me comfort thinking about him watching over me! I also know that since there is no time in Heaven, Brian is not missing me because in the blink of an eye I will be there with him! I am so thankful he does not feel the pain of missing me! Last night I read the book "Heaven is a Real Place." It is a story about little boy who went to Heaven and came back. Reading his story was reassuring that Brian is having the time of his life with Jesus. What a wonderful place Heaven must be!

Please continue to keep me and both our families in your prayers! I just keep trusting in Jesus that He is taking care of me! I can remember talking with Brian soooo many times about how God was his strength. He could not imagine how anyone could go through brain cancer without faith. Well now I am thinking the same thing about losing my love. I do not know how anyone could go through this without the love of Jesus and the faith that I will be with Brian for eternity!

Matthew 5:4
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

peace and love
Shea

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Ok...

2011-01-11T21:18:00.001-08:00

How are you? That is the question of the day, hour, minute, and second. I am..... OK. I am not good but I am not bad. I have good days, bad days, really good days, and really bad days! So, I'm ok! I miss Brian more than words can express and I don't think that will ever change. Actually I hope it doesn't . I hope I always miss him!

I started back to work on Monday. Although it might seem soon to some, it was the right thing to do. Last week I didn't work and I quickly found out that unfortunately life goes on. Bryn and my mom went back to work and I found myself just sitting because it does go on. I have not decided if I think this is a good thing or a bad thing. Sometimes I would like to for everything and everybody to stop and and just cry with me, but then I think of what Brian would want. He would not want me to crash and crawl in a hole. He would want me to be strong and brave just like he was. So I am trying to make him proud! I am back at work and strangely it is the same as when I left. I am the only thing that has changed! I do have to say those sweet third graders were incredibly excited to see me! I have never received so many compliments and hugs! They did make me smile! The minutes and hours seem to pass by a little faster at school. I have a feeling those sweet and innocent faces are going to prove to be free therapy as the year progresses.

Right now I am just wanting to spend some time alone. My friends have all been so nice to call, text, and stop by. I know there will be a time when I want to be surrounded by friends at all times, but right now I just want to be at home grieving. I do see my my family (lowes&lairs) quite frequently. We are supporting each other every step of the way. Family and friends are great, but my number one supporter is Jesus! He is holding me and that is the only way that I am....ok. Brian trusted Jesus "no matter what" and now it is my turn to follow in his footsteps! As Jesus literally holds Brian's hand, he holds my heart.

Just know that I am ok! It is not easy but the love I experienced with Brian was worth the grief I am feeling now!

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NIV)
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. " Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. [10] That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

peace and love
Shea

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Articles and Wedding pictures

2011-01-02T13:29:00.001-08:00

I am so lucky to have 3 beautiful articles written by Jon Mark Beilue to document Brian and I's love story. He came to our wedding, to see us at hospice, and then to celebrate Brian's life at his memorial service. The first one was written about our perfect wedding.
Beilue: It was all well with their souls | Amarillo Globe-News

The second was written about our love and faith through Brian's struggle with brain cancer. It was printed in the paper the day that Brian went to be with Jesus.
Beilue: 'I would do it over every time' | Amarillo Globe-News

The third article was a beautiful depiction of Brian's life and faith that defined him as he entered the gusts of heaven.
Beilue: Family, friends celebrate life, love and faith | Amarillo Globe-News

Thank you Jon Mark! I will treasure these articles for all of my life. I find such comfort going back and reading each article. They allow we to remember and rejoice in the blessings I shared with Brian.

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from our wedding! Brian looked so handsome and healthy! What a blessing!!

Greg always tells me that I didn't just pick some bum up off of the streets to marry.... I agree I picked to best and most handsome guy around. Well I actually think he picked me! I hope you enjoy the pictures and articles!

peace and love
Shea

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Birthday with Jesus

2010-12-30T15:09:00.001-08:00

Well as most of you know Brian went to be with Jesus on Friday December 17th. Shortly after I last updated the blog Brian went home. He was surrounded by his family and friends as he left this Earth to forever be in the kingdom of heaven. If you know brian at all.... You know he LOVED the snow and skiing. When we woke up on the 17th, it was snowing for Brian. He would have had it no other way. We had a memorial service on the 20th to celebrate Brian's life. It truly was a celebration. Although it was an extremely difficult day; the memorial service was perfect!! It was a reflection of his love for life, his family and friends, and most importantly his love for Jesus! Brian is no longer suffering and we will see him soon!

The past two weeks have been filled with many emotions and memories. The selfish side of me is so incredibly sad because I miss the love of my life but the other side of me is rejoicing because Brian in HEALED! Watching him suffer for 3 weeks was hard, but it gave me such a real understanding of total healing found in heaven. I have often found myself wondering if God's peace does surpass all understanding, or if I am still just in shock mode. For right now I will trust in God and know he is racing on the streets of gold!!

Today Brian would have been 28 years old. Marshi and Greg had an oak tree planted down by the cabin for Brian. Marshi chose to have an oak tree because it is strong, lives a long time, and it will grow tall like Brian. In the fall it will have pretty colors to remind us of him. We are all going to go to dinner and celebrate the way we know Brian would want us to! This has been a hard day for us, but it has been the best birthday for Brian! I can't imagine what it would be like to spend my birthday with Jesus... I do know that when that day comes Brian will be there with me!

Happy Birthday my handsome husband!!!! I love you so much and I can't wait to see you again!! We are going to have banana pudding ice-cream for you!!!

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Such a fighter

2010-12-17T09:21:00.001-08:00

I want to update you on Brian. He is still fighting. He sleeps most of the day but he knows what is going on around him. He can hear us and occasionally he will comment on what we are talking about. On wednesday his best friend from high school got into town. When Jeff got to the hospital Brian was alert and bright eyed. For over two hours we were able to communicate with Brian. It was amazing! He laughed, smiled and enjoyed his best friend!! It was the best Christmas gift we could have gotten.

There is an article in the paper that was written about us today. Click on this link.

http://amarillo.com/news/news-columnist/2010-12-16/beilue-i-would-do-it-over-every-time

Thank you Jon Mark Beilue!

I also want to thank all of you who have been such a strong support for all of us. We have been overwhelmed by all of the visitors, emails, texts, and and many other acts of support. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! God is holding us tight and we are clinging to him as well!!!

Peace and love
Shea

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Update

2010-12-13T10:45:00.001-08:00

I wanted to type a quick message to give everyone an update on Brian. Two weeks ago Brian has 3 grand mal seizures. Luckily it was in the middle of the night rather than when I was at school. He was rushed to the hospital where they were eventually able to get get the seizures under control. He spent 3 days in the hospital and then was released to go home.

Once he was home, we quickly realized that he was not well. The next week brought many obstacles. Greg, Marshi, Abby, my parents, and my sister were there to support both me and Brian. Brian was in extreme pain and very uncomfortable. We were not able to meet all of his needs at home. On Friday the 10th, we made to difficult decision to move Brian to hospice.

Over the past few days it has been confirmed many times that Brian is in the right place. The nurses and staff and amazing and have a heart of compassion. I was asking a nurse tech if she was going to continue nursing here when she finished school. She said, "You know...at every other hospital anyone can walk in and choose to be a patient, but here...God chooses who the patients are." Her reply brought tears to my eye and once again confirmed to me that Brian was in the right place.

Please continue to keep Brian in your prayers, and I am also going to ask that you keep our families in your prayers as well. This is such a hard time. Brian's faith has continued to shine in such an amazing way. It is unshakable and knowing that makes this a little more bearable. God is holding Brian close and He is in control.

peace and love
Shea

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Some of our favorite engagement pictures!

2010-10-12T14:59:00.000-07:00

Brian and I had the BEST photographer. Her name is Lezlie Andrew, and she took our engagements, my bridals, and the wedding. Over the past few months she has become so much more than just a photographer. She is a friend and an amazing Christian! Her husband is a part of the praise band at Hillside where we attend church. You can click here to go to her blog and website!

Lezlie... thank you so much for your friendship, prayers and your AMAZING skills!! :) You have blessed Brian and I in more ways than you know.

Here are some of our favorite engagement pictures. I will post bridals and wedding pictures soon! Enjoy!

This is Brian's '69 Camaro that he got when he turned 16. We both love it!

It was such a windy day in Amarillo

This was taken in front of our house.

A crazy storm can blowing in, but it made for a beautiful sky!
We had to stop and finish the rest a few days later.

I love this one of Brian...soooo handsome!

Chloe and Campbell did not like this one. They thought it as too dangerous with the car coming!

This last one is our very favorite! It has so much meaning and emotion!

I told you she was really talented!

So much to update!

2010-10-08T18:25:00.001-07:00

Oh where to start... Let's see, since the last post sooooo much has happened! I am going to have to make a few posts to get everything updated!

most important:
The most important thing is that Brian is on a clinical trial at MD Anderson, and it is working! Woohoo, what a mighty God we serve!! Brian began a clinical trial on August 16th. At that time he had two tumors that were growing at a rapid pace. Dr. Mickey and Dr. Maher (our two favorite doctors) set Brian up with a very well respected and successful clinical doctor at MD Anderson. After a few trips to Houston and a few changes in treatment options, Brian started the clinical trial of a drug that has been very successful for several people over the past two years. The drug us called XL-184. The drug cuts off the blood supply to the tumor so that the tumor is in a sense "starving" and it can not grow. Brian started the trial on the maximum dose of the drug. The side effects of the drug are NOT fun!! They are much more sever than any of the other medications that he has taken. The main side effect is fatigue, and then the list goes on and on. Unfortunately Brian has taken on many of the side effects. After being on the drug for two weeks he went for a check-up. (note: since this is a clinical trial EVERYTHING had to be done in Houston) This was just to check his blood and see how he was handling the side effects. After seeing Brian, the doctors decided that the chemo was too high of a dose and Brian's side effects were too severe. They decided to take him off of it for two weeks. This could not have been better timing.....our wedding was in 3 days!!

After the wedding and honeymoon, we returned to MD for Brian's first scan since starting the new trial. It had been since February since we had heard good news. It was time for us to hear some good news, and we did!!! Brian and I were both shocked when Dr. Gilbert told us that both tumors had shrunk. In fact, we were speechless. Brian finally just said, "Praise God, Praise God!" All I could do was cry! God is sooooooooooooo very faithful and He does hear and answer our prayers! After knowing that the chemo was working after just two weeks of medicine, Brian was ready to start again. They did decided to lower his dose so that the treatment will hopefully not have to be interrupted and he will be able to get more in his system over a longer time period. We will go back on October 27th for his next Scan!

2nd most important:
WE ARE MARRIED!!!!! yeah!! It was absolutely perfect! Brian had been off the chemo for a couple of days and his body was able to gain back some strength. God is so very good, He took care of Brian and he was able to enjoy the wedding and feel pretty good! We were married in Gruver, and it was a true celebration! I have always dreamed of this big day, but it was way more that I could have ever imagined. It was a true celebration of love and life. We were able to enjoy all of the people who have been so very important to us in our lives, and most importantly, over the past 2 and a half years. I have to say that Brian had NEVER been so handsome. Seeing him as I walked down the isle with my Dad is a moment I will never forget. All of my nerves were calm and all that I cared about was the amazing man I was about to marry. A dear friend of ours was the pastor and he did such a great job, he had all the right words to say. Once again... it was perfect! After the ceremony was over it was time for the party to begin! I do not think Brian or I had either one realized how many people were there until the reception. WOW.... it was unreal to see all of the people there that loved us and have been praying for us! One of the many highlights was having Dr. Mickey there. He made the trip from Dallas to tiny Gruver, Texas. He has been such a huge part of our lives over the past few years, and we were honored to have him there! Thanks Dr. Mickey... We love you! After they wedding we were off to spend a week in Hawaii! It was just beautiful and an ideal honeymoon, but that is another blog...coming soon! We are still waiting to see the wedding pictures, but I will post them soon.

On the night of the rehearsal, I answered the phone at my parents house and it was Jon Mark Beilue, a columnist from the Amarillo Globe News. He proceeded to tell me that he had spent the past couple of hours reading our blog. He was very moved, and he had one question for me..."Can I invite myself to your wedding?" He went on to interview both Brian and myself, and then he drove to Gruver for the wedding. While we were on our honeymoon, he wrote a wonderful article about our wedding and our story. He could not have said it better. Thank you Jon Mark! I get tears in my eyes each time I read the article. Here is a link to the article.
http://amarillo.com/news/news-columnist/2010-09-08/beilue-it-was-all-well-their-souls
Enjoy!

Thank you so very much for all of your prayers and support! Please continue to keep Brian in your prayers as he endures the side effects of the chemo daily. He is AMAZING and he has yet to have a negative attitude...ever! I am definitely married to the most brave and amazing man of God! I am one lucky girl!

peace and love
shea

Celebrate Survival

2010-07-23T21:41:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday! Brian and I are in Montana and it is beautiful!! We are having a good time with friends. I am amazed that there are no bugs or wind!! It is a big change from the Texas panhandle.

Today is a day to celebrate.... Brian has been a brain cancer survivor for 2 years today! Woohoo!!! It seems crazy to think that two years have past already. He has had 6 surgeries, 6 weeks of radiation, 7 months of chemo, and 1 biopsy!!! He has done it all with determination, strength, and most importantly... FAITH!! Now that is something to celebrate!!!! Although it has been difficult many times, great things have happened! Most importantly his faith has soared and I can only imagine how many people he had touched through his testimony! That makes it all worth it to us both! Brian is a completely different person than he was 2 years ago! He also made me the luckiest girl in the world a few months ago when he asked me to marry him! There have been many blessings over the past 2 years!!

So go out and dance, go to dinner, or have a glass of wine to celebrate Brian's 2 years survival of brain cancer!! We look forward to many more and continue to pray for God's continued healing and guidance!!!

I love you Brian and I am so proud of you!!! Thanks for letting me have a part of this journey!

What a journey it has been....

Shea

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Get ready MD Anderson...

2010-07-21T16:37:00.000-07:00

Brian talked to Dr. Maher last night about the results of the pathology. Brain will quality for the clinical trials at MD Anderson. We will be going there next Monday the 26th. We are very anxious the get the process started!

Brian and I are going to Montana for the wedding of one of his college roommates this weekend. We are excited to see the beautiful country and spend time with some great friends! This is will be a great get away for us!

Thank you so very much for your prayers! We could not go through this journey without them! I am amazed when I see how many people have viewed the blog each day! I know we serve a listening God who hears and answers our prayers! I ask that you pray that God gives us the knowledge to choose the best clinical trial for Brian. Also that we are able to listen to His voice!

thanks and love
Shea and Brian

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Biopsy

2010-07-17T07:19:00.001-07:00

They biopsy went well yesterday. The while process took about three hours, but Brian was actually only in the OR for about 45 minutes. They had to but a "halo" or ring around his head to do the biopsy and that was BY FAR the worst part of the whole process. This consisted of 4 pins being screwed in his head. This all happened while Brian was awake... Brian was NOT a happy camper. Once the ring was in place he went for an MRI, and the it was off to the OR. The doctors said they were able to get a good amount of tissue to be sent off for pathology. We will now wait for the results before we head down to MD Anderson.

Brian is doing really well!! This has been nothing compared to the past 6 surgeries. By the time he made it back into his room he was awake doing great! Just like nothing had happened. Dr. Mickey stopped by and said that everything went well. It is always good to see Dr. Mickey! He has such a special place in our hearts! It is evident that Brian has made a huge impression on Dr. Mickey and several other doctors.
They all take extra good care of him! He is a pretty special guy!

He has several guests yesterday afternoon. Kallie and Jeff came to spend some time with Brian. Their friendship is such a blessing to us both! Then Cori, Chip, and the girls showed up! Brian is always excited to see those little girls! They are a light in his life.

We expect that Brian will get to go home sometime today. We are waiting on Dr. Mickey to stop by this morning and give us the ok!

Please keep Brian in your prayers! We have some big decisions to be made over they next few weeks. Pray that Gods guilds us and that we listen! We need this boy to be healed... Fast!

Thank you so much for all prayers!!!

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Update 2

2010-07-16T10:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was re big day. We came to sale for an MRI to see if the chemo did it's job. We were devastated to learn that the chemo was not successful in stopping the growth. The tumor has grown again. This has brought on a lot of decisions that have to be made. We have a few options that we are looking at.

The one thing we know right now is that we will be going to MD Anderson for further treatment. There are several clinical trials that we will be looking into, but before we do that, they want to get a closer look at the tumor cells. Today Brian is having a mini-surgery/biopsy. The procedure will take a couple of hours and then the biopsy will be sent to several institutes for pathology reports.

This was a big shocker... We had such hope in the chemo working. The doctors are still very hopeful and ready to get Brian on new medicine to get rid of the tumor.

Brian as usual just as strong and brave as ever! He is ready to take on the challenge and glorify the Lord in the process. I am constantly amazed by how much he has grown and developed in his faith. I was upset yesterday and frustrated asking "why him?" He just hugged me and said that it was better for him to have it than anyone else! He said "Shea, I am strong and God knows I can handle this." I love this selfless man!!

Please pray that the procedure goes well and that they are able to get a "good" biopsy. I will update soon.

Thanks and love
Shea

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Update 1

2010-07-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

Well... It's been a while and a lot has happened. Last month we came back to see what the "spot" was up to. We found out the it was indeed a tumor. It had doubled in size and Dr. Maher suggested Brian start chemotherapy immediately. She started him on the same chemo he was on a year ago. They hope was that it would be the answer and the tumor would vanish by the next scan. The concern was that the tumor was resistant to the drug.

Chemo is never fun! Brian has felt the results in full. He has had much fatigue and just felt bad in general.

Brian is amazing!! His faith is so strong and he never doubted who was in control of the tumor. Unfortunately it is not us! God is so very good and faithful he has given Brian the ability to stay strong and endure whatever he is given! In return Brain gives thanks and praise for his daily blessings! AMAZING!!

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The Spot

2010-06-14T13:13:00.001-07:00

Well it seems crazy that it is already time to go to Dallas for another MRI. This month has gone so fast! On Thursday we will go back to Zale for Brian's MRI. This is a HUGE MRI. It will tell us whether the "spot" is tumor or a radiation change. A radiation change is dead tissue caused from previous radiation. Our hope and prayer is that the "spot" has not grown and it is indeed just dead tissue!

Brian is so brave and such a fighter. He is ready to take on the spot in whatever way is necessary. He is very hopeful and believes that God can heal him completely. With that being said...he feels honored that God has chosen him to suffer for His glory!! If it is Gods will for the spot to be tumor; then Brian is ready to fight it and glorify God in the process!

Our wonderful church, Hillside Christian, has been such a blessing to us over the past two years! Yesterday our pastor, Tommy Politz, taught on the concept of suffering for Christ. it was an amazing sermon that I needed to hear! He mentioned Brian and his situation several times! It was truly a testament of how great our God is and to Brian's amazing faith! You can click on the link below and watch the sermon. It is entitled "A Call to Suffer."
http://www.hillsidewired.com/#

Please keep Brian in your prayers as we travel back to Dallas! We are praying for God to give us a miracle and for the spot NOT to be tumor, and I ask that you pray that same prayer! I will post an update as soon as we know more!

Feel free to leave a comment, we love knowing who visits the blog. It is very encouraging to see comments! Thank you so much for all the prayers and support!

Psalm 143:1
O LORD, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief.

thanks and love
shea and brian

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MRI

2010-05-26T20:00:00.000-07:00

Some of you might know that we did not get a good report last Friday when we went to Dallas for his MRI. It showed that there is a new "spot" that is located in the back of Brian's brain. Although the spot is very small, this was an immediate flag for his doctors for a few reasons….
1st-This spot is not close to the original tumor bed.
2nd-It was not there 3 months ago
3rd-It looked like it had not been radiated

We left Dallas in total devastation believing that the only thing the spot could be was a new tumor. We have been waiting on doctors to call us all week so that Brian could start a treatment plan ASAP. This would consist of chemo and possibly radiation.

Yesterday the radiologist called to tell us that the spot has actually already been radiated. Although this sounds bad…. It is actually very hopeful. Since the area has had radiation, there is a chance that the spot is flair from radiation rather than new tumor! This changed our plan of action. The doctors want us to wait a month, and then go back for another MRI. We will then be able to tell whether or not it is indeed dead cells or tumor.

As you can imagine, we were thrilled. Brian and I are aware that it still might be new tumor, but we are also aware that we serve the GREAT physician! God has been with us throughout this journey and we know that he is capable of healing Brian completely. Our prayers for the next month will be for continued healing for Brian!!! We will be praying that the MRI next month will show the spot gone or no growth. We already consider the news we got yesterday an answered prayer and we cannot wait to see what He has in store for us! We are trusting and putting all our faith in God!

Please keep Brian in your prayers as we continue this battle. Thank you for all your prayers and support over the past two years! Each of you are a blessing!

thanks and love
shea and brian

another day...another scan

2010-05-20T18:47:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe that 3 months have passed and it is time to go to Dallas for another scan. These days always come sooner that we would like for them to. With that being said.... Brian is doing GREAT!! He had recovered so well from his 6th surgery and seems to be getting back into a normal pace of life. He does still have headaches but he is able to manage them pretty well. We hope and pray for that the scan reflect how great Brian is feeling.

We will be going to Zale tomorrow at 11:30 for his MRI and then we will meet with Dr. Mickey to look at the scan. We will then head to Southlake, where Brian is being honored as a cancer survivor at the Southlake Relay for Life. We will be walking with our dear friends, the Millicans. It is so exciting to be able to participate in such amazing opportunities that benefit the cancer community! We will be sure to post pictures soon!!

There are only 6 days of school left, and I am so excited!! I love the idea of two months off, but I know most of that time will be spend planning our wonderful wedding!! We are so very excited for September 4th to get here!!! We love being engaged but are even more excited to get married!

Thank you so much for your sweet words and prayers! We are constantly reminded of how blessed we are to server such a giving and healing God! Please keep Brian and I in your prayers tomorrow!!

peace and love
shea and brian

NEWS, NEWS, & MORE BIG NEWS!!!

2010-04-13T21:50:00.000-07:00

I want to start of by saying "Thank You" to all of you who have prayed and sent positive thoughts my way. God continues to answer prayers and bless me in ways I could never have dreamed of.

This "last" surgery went GREAT and I continue to feel better each week. Last Friday I flew back to Dallas to meet with Dr. Mickey and Dr. Rozen (plastic surgeon). I had all of my staples removed and both doctors said everything looks GREAT! I may still look a little funny but who doesn't? :)

I meet allot of people who say "Wow, you sure have a positive attitude considering all you've been through." Here's why.............

I have never been closer to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!! He has shown me day after day that I can do anything through him. I wake up everyday looking forward to finding new ways to expand the Kingdom. Shea and I are now working with our church youth group every week and are now members of a small group where we have met GREAT FRIENDS who love the Lord.

ABOUT THAT GIRL SHEA.....

Ever here someone say, "this is a blessing from God?" Well, I am 110% POSITIVE SHEA IS MY BLESSING GOD!!!!! Before I met Shea I was just another single guy who believed in God but didn't always act like it. God knew I was going to face this disease and therefore he blessed me with a strong, beautifull, Christian women to stand by my side during these difficult times. I truly believe that without Shea I would not be able to have a positive attitude or a strong relationship/trust in the Lord. We have now been dating for 2 and 1/2 years and I feel like the luckiest man on earth. Can you guess what I'm going to tell you next?....... Last Tuesday I finally did what I should have done long ago. I got down on 1 knee and PROPOSED to Shea, the girl I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life, and.......... ........... .............. SHE SAID "YES" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After lots of happy tears it finally started sinking in with both of us that yes, this is for real.

The wedding plans are already on their way and she is waisting no time. The wedding will be on September 4th of this year in the great small town of Gruver, Texas.

If you only get 1 thing out of this post I hope it is that ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THROUGH OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! I'm living proof.

I hope you all have a GREAT week and I ask that you to continue to pray for my continued healing and that Shea I will have a WONDERFUL, LASTING, GOD FOCUSED MARRIAGE.

MAY YOU EXPAND THE KINGDOM,

BRIAN

Home at Last

2010-03-31T19:52:00.000-07:00

He is HOME!! Brian we able to leave the hospital on Saturday around noon. The doctors gave him the OK to come home after he was off of the IV pain meds for 24 hours. He drove back to Amarillo with Marshi and Abby. I was a little worried that the 7 hour ride home would be hard on him, but he was a trooper!

This has definitely been the quickest healing process that he has had. It has been one week since his surgery and his swelling is almost completely gone. It sure has been easier on him this time around. I think this was what all the other 5 surgeries were supposed to be like. He is having some headaches which is to be expected and he is still pretty tired. Beside that and the 55 staples..... you would never know he had surgery a week ago.

We went to church tonight to help out with the youth, and he did get a few strange looks from the middle school kids. I think they a little scared!! I think the high school kids just thought he got in a really bad fight!! ;) It was go great to be able to go worship our God and praise with over 300 students! One again we were overwhelmed by God's amazing grace and healing hand!

Please continue to pray for Brian's complete recovery. Enjoy the picture...

thanks and love,
shea and brian

Today

Five days after surgery

Two days after surgery

Lair Cousins

Looking Good...

2010-03-24T12:44:00.000-07:00

This has definitely been this the best "day after" that Brian has ever had. He looks great! His head is swollen, but it is significantly less than it was with the other surgeries. He has 55 staples and a really nice haircut. He is very thankful for his fast growing hair! He is feeling pretty good considering the circumstances.

There are 3 keys to going home.... eating, walking, and the pain being under control. He has mastered the first two and he is working on the last one! The doctors and nurses are working hard to keep his pain under control and so far they are doing a really good job. This hospital is top notch!! The doctors are hoping he will be able to go home during the next couple of days.

We will continue to pray for a fast recovery so we can get back to the snowy panhandle. Crazy weather....

thanks for all the prayers and support

shea and brian

Surgery 6...check

2010-03-23T10:14:00.000-07:00

God is so good!! He is out of surgery and everything went well. It took about three and a half hours from start to finish. Dr. Mickey and Dr. Rozen (plastic surgeon) said everything went as planned. There was not any sign of infection, so they were able to use the same skull plate that was already in his head. The doctors used several more sets of screws this time. In fact, Dr. Mickey said they literally ran out! I guess that is a good thing.... Then they used a putty to cover the screws and make for a very smooth forehead. Brian has been blessed with wonderful doctors!

He is now resting in the recovery room and I was able to sneak in to see him for a few minutes. He looks great!! When I walked in the room he was telling his nurse that if he could have a "top ten list of nurses" she would be on it!! Such a charmer!! From recovery he will go have a CAT scan and then return to his second home.....Room 507 Zale Lipshy Hospital. He should be in his room within the hour.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for all of your prayers! Once again God answered! We serve such a faithful God! His peace is what gets us through these tough days. Brian and I have talked many times about how lucky we are to have such wonderful families, friends, and an AWESOME God! We are beyond blessed!

About to go into surgery

Nice hose Brian!

Brian and his FAVORITE girls!!

Here We Go Again...

2010-03-22T21:23:00.000-07:00

I am soooooo sorry I have not updated until now! On a good note Brian's last appointment went great in Dallas. The tumor showed no growth and the scan looked good! Those words are so good to hear! Thanks so much for all your prayers!

On the flip side, Brian will be having his 6th surgery tomorrow morning at 7:00 am. We have to be at the hospital by 5:30 to begin his pre-op. Dr. Mickey will be going in to fix his skull cap that shifted. He will also have a plastic surgeon to assist him in making sure it looks perfect!

These times are always filled with nerves and anxiety. Please pray for the doctors hands as they go in once again to work on Brian. We continue to pray that Brian's recovery is a fast one and we are out of the hospital in a few days. Your prayers and faithfulness mean so much to all of us! We really could not do this without it!! I will post an update as soon as we hear something tomorrow afternoon. We expect the surgery to take about 4 -5 hours. Thanks again for your prayers for Brian and a successful surgery! We know that God is in control and that Brian will come out even stronger than before!! 6th time's a charm!! Now off to get a few hours of sleep!

thanks and love,
shea and brian

3 Month Scan

2010-03-02T18:42:00.000-08:00

It is that time again..... We will be going to Dallas tomorrow for a full day of doctors appointments. We will start with a scan and then go meet with Dr. Mickey to see what it shows. We pray for the tumor to show NO NEW GROWTH and we would be thrilled to see it shrink!! Brian then has an appointment with a plastic surgeon who will be in on the next surgery. Finally we will go and see his radiologist for a checkup. It will definitely be a day full of doctors and anxiety! Please keep Brian in your prayers tomorrow as we jump from doctor to doctor. Brian has been so blessed so far and we are so thankful for all of you who faithfully pray for him!!!

thanks and love,

shea and brian

Happy Winter

2010-02-02T21:02:00.000-08:00

It is definitely winter in Amarillo!!! Last week's foot of snow reminded us that it is not over yet.... We were planning on going skiing but decided not to battle the terrible roads and crazy drivers. Instead...Brian made a snow angel on the driveway! As you can see, it was a huge angel.

We have recently joined a small group at our church and we LOVE it. It has already been such a blessing! New friends are always exiting! We have also started helping with the youth on Wednesday nights and it is CRAZY!! You can't imagine the amount of middle school/high school kids that come to fellowship and worship. I think we get as much out of it as the kids do! It is AMAZING!!

UPDATE

Brian has still not finalized the date of his surgery, but we do know that it will be the week after spring break (March 22-26.) Before that can take place, we are going for a scan on March 3rd. He will then meet with a plastic surgeon and Dr. Mikey to finalize all the surgery details. The closer that the 3rd gets, the more anxious we become. I ask that you PLEASE start praying ahead of time for a GREAT report from the scan! Brian and I are constantly amazed by the power of prayer and so thankful for each of you. We continue to pray for complete healing, and God has continued to deliver blessings!

peace and love,

shea and brian

TO THE BEST YEAR OF OUR LIVES!!!

2010-01-17T19:20:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday to Brian, and Happy New Year!!!! I am so sorry it has been a while since we have blogged! The holiday season was filled with such joy. We started off the break by going to Red River with my family. We had a wonderful time and Brian’s head did not hold him back on the skis AT ALL!!!! He did wear a helmet and it was put to good use a few times! Besides getting tired quicker, skiing was just as it always has been for him…. A CRAZY BLAST!! Skiing comes so naturally for him and we look forward to making a few more trips this winter. We spent the next week celebrating Christmas with both of our families at several parties. We were constantly reminded of how lucky we are to be so blessed with LIFE and a life filled with Jesus!

Brian turned 27 on December 30th!!! His birthday is truly a celebration of LIFE!! He has endured so much more than most 27 year olds, and he has done it with such faith and determination!! Marshi had a wonderful dinner for him and we were able to celebrate with both of our families! We look forward to MANY MANY more birthday celebrations!

The New Year has already brought a challenge Brian’s way. Unfortunately, the plate has not shifted back into place. If he does not have a hat on the plate and screw stick out of his head about a half an inch. So……It looks as if Brian will be going back to Zale for a 6th surgery sometime this spring. Dr. Mickey and Brian are working out the details of when it will all take place and they are working on getting a plastic surgeon in on the surgery as well. Although we are NOT excited about the surgery, Brian is so ready to have a smooth forehead and not have to worry about a screw coming, or as he likes to say, “a screw loose” hahah! We know that 2010 has so many BLESSINGS to come and we can't wait to see them!!

We have recently become more active in our church through joining a small group and working with the high school youth. It has already such a blessing for both of us! We can’t wait to see what God has in store for us! Thanks you so much for all of your continued prayers and support! We are so BLESSED!!! Please continue to keep Brian in your prayers and as his journey and fight continues!!!

God Bless,
Shea and Brian

Gobble Gobble

2009-12-04T22:26:00.000-08:00

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for all your prayers! This past Wednesday we went to Dallas for a scan and a check up with Dr. Mickey. We were there most importantly to see what the tumor is doing, and also to come up with a plan for getting Brian’s skull piece back in place.

We got GREAT news….. the tumor is still stable and showing NO signs of growth!! Dr. Mickey feels sure that the tumor is a slow growing tumor and was very pleased with the MRI. We will continue to go back every three months for an scan to keep a very close watch on the remaining tumor. As for the plate…. well, Dr. Mickey does NOT want to go back into fix it right now. He is hoping that it might slide back into place over the next few months with some help from continuious pressure from a cap or band. If it is still not in place when we go back in March, then we will consider other options.

Our trips to Dallas are always fill with such anxiety; though I really could not even imagine how much worse it would be without your prayers and God's comfort throughout the day! We are so very thankful for the people that God has placed in our lives that continue to shower us in prayers and for the doctors that have taken such good care of Brian! Thanks again for all your support and prayers!

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! Here are a few pictures from ours.....

Thanks and Love,

shea

IT'S TIME FOR THIS STEPPER TO STEP

2009-11-06T00:05:00.000-08:00

Walk day for the annual Brain Tumor walk is upon us. We will be traveling to Dallas tomorrow afternoon to get ready for the event. If you haven’t registered yet and would like to join us IT’S NOT TO LATE! Just go to www.braintumorcommunity.org/goto/brianlair
to register. The walk is in Ft. Worth starting at 9:30 am on Saturday.

We’re still looking for donations to this great cause that has affected mine and many others lives so greatly. We had some T-shirts made up for all the members of the team. Check them out.

While I’m at the event I will hopefully have a chance to meet with Dr. Mickey for a “FREE” consultation.

As far as how I’m doing…… I have my ok days and my BAD days. Everything considered; I’m doing GREAT. Thanks again for all the prayers and support you have shown me and my family over the past 15 months.

God Bless,
Brian Lair

Get R Done

2009-10-29T22:02:00.000-07:00

Life is good in Amarillo! I am thrilled to report that this recovery has been by far the easiest of the five! On my last trip to Dallas, they removed all 67 of my staples and told me they did not need to see me for another two months. So, on December 2nd I will go back for a scan and several appointments. Each day I find that I am gaining more and more strength. I am so anxious to be back to 100%.

Over the past month I have been to Detroit for a GM meeting and Oklahoma City to the drag races. Although it is great to get away, it is always better to come home! Shea and I just got home from a “Larry the Cable Guy” show. We had a great time and even got to meet him. Very entertaining guy…

Next weekend we will be going to Dallas to participate in the Brain Tumor walk. We would love to have you as a part of our team. Thanks so much to everyone who has joined or donated to my Team! Every dollar is a step closer to a cure! Check out our team page.

I can’t thank everyone enough for all your prayers and support throughout the past 15 months. I am blessed!

God Bless,
Brian

Home Sweet Home...again

2009-10-05T21:29:00.000-07:00

I have been out of the hospital for a week and it feels so good to be home! I didn’t realize how I had missed my own bed. I have recuperated well, but for some reason, the recovery has been more painful the 5th time around. I am thinking that the added pressure from replacing the skull must be the reason. Unfortunately I can still feel where the skull piece is off, so I get to look forward to having Dr. Mickey “massage” it into place when I am good and healed. Since being home, I have been able to rest and let my incision heal. The past few days I have gone to the office for a few hours despite an 18 inch incision going across my head. So far I have not scared any customers away. I have been off of chemo for two months now and I am starting to feel like I am getting my strength and stamina back. I look forward to being able to spend an entire day at the office and not be sick or need a nap. I left the hospital with 67 staples in my head and I will go back to Dallas tomorrow to have them removed. Hopefully everything will go well and I will be further down the road to recovery! As I look back over the past few weeks and even the past year, I am constantly amazed by how faithful God is! He has been with me each step of the way! I have been BLESSED!!! Thanks for all the prayers and support! Please pray that all goes well in Dallas tomorrow!

God Bless
brian

DR. Mickey.... THE BOSS

My Favorite Visitor!

It just cant be simple!

2009-09-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

Well it has been a roller coaster since I last updated. After surgery Brian was doing great and resting well. The swelling was much less than the previous surgeries. That all changed on Wednesday..... Brian woke up and was much more swollen. He could hardly open his eyes. Around 7:00 p.m. he had a seizure, but was able to communicate throughout the entire seizure. This led to a series of several seizures over the next few hours. He was immediately taken down to have an MRI. During the MRI Brian had another seizure that resulted in him not being able to finish the scan. The doctors put him in ICU to monitor him over night. He had a couple of seizure in ICU so they have upped his seizure medication. This has seemed to do the trick! On Thursday evening he returned back to the fifth floor and to a regular room. Since then he has been doing great! His swelling has gone down so much and he is feeling good! Dr. Mickey and Dr. Maher have both looked at his scans and said they look GREAT! We are so thankful for no new growth! From the scans it looks like the plate has shifted a bit, but we will know more when all the swelling has gone down. Mr. Mickey said he thinks he can use some "Mickey Massage Therapy" and guild it back into place! Yikes... we will cross that bridge later on! For now we are just so thankful for how well Brian is recovering! God is so GREAT!! Please continue to pray for NO infection and a speedy recovery! Although we LOVE Zale...we are ready to be home!!

thanks and love,

shea

Back in room 507....

2009-09-22T21:47:00.000-07:00

Well today marked the 5th and hopefully last surgery for Brian. The surgery was scheduled to start at 11:30 this morning and Brian had to be at the hospital at 9:30. They were very prompt in getting him checked in and back into the pre-op waiting room. That is where the promptness ended! We ended up sitting in a TINY room form 9:30 until 1:30. During this time we had to take turn going back to see him and sit with him. As the minutes turned into hours Brian's nerves began to get to him. Finally they gave him medicine to calm and relax him before going in. Around 1:30 they finally came to take him into the OR.

Waiting for the fun to begin..

Marsha, Greg, the Ferguson's, my parent, and I all waited patiently in the waiting room. At 4:00 Dr. Mickey came out to tell us that Brian had done great! The surgery had gone very well. They replaced his missing skull and it was a perfect fit. Brian later let us know that it was a good thing that it was a "perfect fit" because they were not going back in to adjust it! He had to stay in the recovery room for an hour and then it was time to return to the 5th floor.

All done!

Room 507 seems to have become Brian's second home over the bast year! It is the "suite" of hospital rooms. It is double the size of a normal room, has hard wood floors, and even a mini-fridge. The nurses were all excited to see him and had his room ready and waiting. He is doing very well. We were amazed by how GREAT his head looks already! As expected, he has an extreme about of pain, but the nurses are working hard to keep it under control! This evening Jeff stopped by to check on him. Brian enjoyed talking and it took his mind off the pain for awhile. After our parents went back to the hotel, we walked a few laps around the 5th floor. He is AMAZING!!! The walking wore him out and now he is resting! Thank you so much for all the prayers and support! Brian is so blessed to have such a strong support group through his friends and family! Please keep praying that the next few days will be a smooth recovery!

Up and Walking

thanks and love,

shea

We Can All Make a Difference!

2009-09-13T22:58:00.000-07:00

I want to start by thanking everyone who has signed up for the Brain Tumor walk in Dallas on November 7th. Our team has already raised over $600. I look forward to meeting up with family and friends to benefit such a awesome cause that is close to all of our hearts. The reality that the money we are raising could help find a cure for brain cancer is over whelming! The more money that is raised, the closer to a cure they are! I cant wait until the day they find it and I am cured! We would love to have each of you on our team!

On September 22nd I will be going back to Zale Lipshy hospital for my 5th surgery. Dr. Mickey will be going back in to replace my missing piece of skull. I am very anxious for the surgery and ready to start living my life without fear. Please keep me in your prayers as my surgery gets closer. I will post an update with the exact time of my surgery later in the week. Thanks for all your prayers and support throughout this journey. I am constantly reminded of how blessed I am to have such a strong support system.

God Bless,
Brian

Giving Back....Angel Walk

2009-08-16T21:35:00.000-07:00

Friends and family, I have registered and started a team to join the fight against the brain tumors. The National Brain Tumor Foundation will be holding the National Brain Tumor Angel Walk on November 7th at Trinity Park in Fort Worth. This is a 3.1 mile inspirational fundraising walk and the proceeds go towards supporting brain tumor research.

If you would like to participate with us or help us by donating to our team you can do that by visiting our page here. If you are in the DFW area and would like to walk with us; we would LOVE to have you by our side! To register for the walk you can copy and paste this link into your url.
www.braintumorcommunity.org/goto/brianlair
There you can register to join our team “No Step for a Stepper.” If you have any questions about registering feel free to e-mail me at brianlair@amaonline.com.

I am very excited and very much looking forward to being able to contribute and at least feel like I am doing something to help move brain tumor research forward! Things have been really good around here lately! Most importantly being that I have finished my 6th round of chemo and feeling relatively well. I am anxiously awaiting September 22nd when I will have the surgery to replace my missing skull.

Thanks for all your prayers and support! I hope to see some of you on November 7th!

2009-08-02T22:00:00.000-07:00

IT HAS BEEN A YEAR!

It’s hard to believe that a year has passed since I learned I had brain cancer. One year ago life was so normal and I never dreamed my life was about to change so drastically! Well….. Here I am 4 brain surgeries, 7 weeks of radiation, 5 months of chemo and 1/3 less of a skull later. Honestly I am healthier now than I was a year ago. I am seizure free and I aggressively fighting off this terrible disease! Life changes and moves so fast….. July 23rd was the actual year anniversary of my diagnosis. It was a quite normal day until late in the afternoon when Shea realized what day it was, so what did we do???? We celebrated!!! Some people thought it was a little strange to celebrate a year of brain cancer, but I was celebrating a year of LIFE! So dinner, a bottle of wine, bowling, and a few Ben’s later we had a great celebration!

On Friday I had another round of doctor appointments in Dallas. Those days are always packed with anxiety and wonder. The first stop in the list of appointments was an MRI, so unfortunately I get to ponder about what the machine is seeing for an hour while I listen to what sounds like a baseball bat hitting the side of a barrel with me in it. The second stop is to the blood lab where I get to have my blood drawn…again… It is funny to think that a year ago I HATED needle and went years without ever being poked with one, now we have weekly encounters! My third and final stop was meeting my Dr. Maher my oncologist. I am glad to say they the appointment went very well. For the first time she told me that the tumor has visibly shrunk!! Those words were GREAT to hear. All of our prayers have been heard! She will continue to watch my brain very closely to make sure there is no growth and determine how many more months of chemo I will have to take. While in her office we confirmed that my fifth (and hopefully last) surgery will be on September 22nd. They will go in and replace my missing piece of skull with a plastic mold. September 22nd could not come any faster. Some may wonder why and how I am so anxious to have another surgery??!! Well, after 4 of them a fifth one seems like a walk in the park if it gives me my freedom back. I am so ready to be able to live and not be held back because I have a hole in my head!! I will be well recovered and ready to hit the slopes come November!!

Looking back….. WOW….what a year it has been! I feel like I have been to hell and back a few times but I am SO lucky to be able to tell about it!!! God has blessed me incredibly! God is the reason I am able to tell this story today! He has been so good to me! I would not be here without the love and support of my family and friends! I have not gone through this alone! Thanks for supporting me throughout this past year with your love and prayers! God Bless and NEVER FORGET…… GOD IS GREAT!!

God Bless,
Brian

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS.... RIGHT?

2009-06-18T21:11:00.000-07:00

Once again it has been awhile…. So many things have happened since I last blogged. On June 5th I went to Dallas for an MRI and to meet with my oncologist. In a nutshell Dr. Maher said my MRI looked great!! The remaining tumor has not grown at all. I wanted her to tell me that the remaining tumor has shrunk, but I didn’t exactly get that news. If the chemo is doing its job, it could take a couple more months to show the tumor shrinking on the MRI. I was not able to meet with my neurosurgeon to schedule my 5th and hopefully last surgery, so that date is still up in the air. I had hoped to schedule it for the last of this month, but it doesn’t look like that will be happening. Both doctors want to wait until I have taken a few more months of chemo until we schedule it. I am constantly reminding them that I will be going snow skiing this year and I need a full skull for that. They don’t seem to be as concerned with the skiing as I am! I have finished my 4th round of chemo and it seems to be a little more tolerable. I was not as nauseated this round, but I continue to struggle with fatigue. We continue to pray each and every day for continued healing! God has been so good!

My life outside of brain cancer has been pretty busy…..

My house should be done next week, and I am so ready to be in it. Building a house is a lot more of a pain that I ever dreamed it would be! Each day they get closer to being done and I get more anxious to be in it!

I went to Arkansas for my college roommate Matt’s wedding. It was so good to see old friends and celebrate this exciting time with him. It was the first time in five years that all three of us college roommates were able to hang out together. It looks like I will be the last of the three cronies to tie the knot now that Elijah is engaged. Congrats to both of you!

After my doctor’s appointments in Dallas, Shea and I stayed an extra night for the George Strait and Reba concert at the new Cowboy Stadium. The concert was great and the stadium is amazing! We had a great time. We met Shea's sister and her family for dinner one night. Although I am not typically a HUGE kid person, her niece Chloe is pretty cute. I know this picture is cute, but I do charge a fee for printing it off to put in your home!! I guess I will take your prayers as payment!!

Last weekend we went to Tulsa with my Dad for the drag races. Shea had not ever been to the races so it was quite a treat for her. I had forgotten how much I enjoy being at the track with my dad. Next time maybe I will choose to go to a race where it isn’t 120 ̊.

I am constantly amazed by the people that I meet who know me from church prayer chains, emails, small groups, and word of mouth. I can’t count the times I have been asked, “Are you the one who is fighting brain cancer?” Thanks you so much for sharing my story and for the continued prayers and support! I wouldn’t be here without it!

WOW!! IT'S BEEN A WHILE

2009-05-20T22:27:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since my last post and yes I've had a lot going on. Let's see where to start.

I GOT BAPTISED!
I had been planning on getting baptised for quite some time. However, all my medical problems had really delayed it. On Sunday May 9th I was baptized at Hillside Christian Church. It was a great experience and something I wish I would of done long ago. Of course, being me I had to throw a little excitement into the event. It was Mother's Day and my awesome mom had no idea! After the worship part of the service I excused myself because I "forgot to take my medicine" and the next thing she new I was above the stage getting baptized.

That's all I'm giving you for now. Check back in the next couple of days and I'll fill you in on the rest.

If you haven't visited this website www.greglair.com you should!

I KNOW.. I KNOW... I'M IN TROUBLE!!

2009-04-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a LONG while since I've blogged. I didn't think I had much to blog about, but now that I sit down to do it I don't even know where to start.

Matt's Wedding

A couple of weeks ago my mom and I flew down to Florida to take part in my cousin Matt's wedding. One of the great parts of the trip was the fact that my sister Abby met us down there. We had a great time trying to pronounce the names of streets (they were all Spanish sounding). Another highlight of the trip was the golf outing the day before the wedding. I don't know when I'll get to play golf with my cousins Matt and Michael again, so I cherished every second of it.

Other than a head cold I have still not gotten rid of the weekend went great!

Cardboard Testimonies

Last week my pastor Tommy called to check on me and we ended up talking about the upcoming Easter Sunday service. They were doing another round of Cardboard Testimonies. After some thought and allot of prayer I decided it was time for me to share my testimony.

The front of my cardboard read "4 Brain Surgeries, Radiation, Currently going through chemo." This was to represent my before and current. The reverse side read "I TRUST JESUS NO MATTER WHAT!" I had to think long and hard about this one but at the end I figured this sums it up the best. No matter what happens here on earth I trust that Jesus has a plan for me.

What's Next?

I'm going to Dallas tomorrow for an MRI and 2 doctors visits. This will be the first true test to see whether or not the radiation worked.

Thanks for all the prayers and support. I'll blog in the next 2 days I PROMISE!

God Bless,
Brian

1 DOWN 11 TO GO!

2009-03-09T21:12:00.001-07:00

I know it's been a while since my last post. What can I say? I just really haven't felt like complaining to the entire world. My last doctors appointment went relatively well. There doesn't seem to be any growth in the tumor but unfortunately there is still tumor present. I started chemo a week after my doctors visit. I'm taking the drug Temador, which is a pill form of chemo. I'm scheduled to take the pills 5 days out of every 28 days for a year. I'd love to tell you that chemo is "no big deal" however that would be lying. Here's a picture of the lovely pills.

The main side effect of the drug is nausea. I found out after the first day that they weren't kidding when they said "you may get sick." I talked to Dr. Mickey about when he would preform my next surgery. He feels like it will be a couple more months till that happens. My next doctors appointment is scheduled for next week and I'll be going back to Dallas every month for at least the next year.

On the positive side of things

My new home is coming along pretty quickly. They've started framing and will soon start the brick work. Here's a recent pic.

That's about all I have for now. It seems like almost every day I meet someone who reads this blog and has been lifting me up in their prayers. As always THANK YOU for your prayers and support. I couldn't make it through this without you.

GOD BLESS,

Brian

I'M READY FOR ANSWERS

2009-02-19T00:33:00.000-08:00

Well..... it's 3:00 in the morning and I'm awake writing this blog instead of sleeping. I have to catch a a 6:35 am flight to Dallas in just a few short hours. I'm going there for 3 doctor appointments and hopefully some good news and answers. I expect they will start my chemotherapy treatments and give me a date for my next surgery (I'm still missing part of my skull). I'm not excited to start chemo but I'm ready to get it over with. I'm still feeling the effects of the radiation and can't imagine what chemo will be like. If it's bad I'm sure you will here about it. :)

On the positive side of things.

It looks like I will soon be moving from my SMALL apartment into a new home. I'm so tired of this SMALL apartment that I can't even begin to explain. One of the problems is that there is very little parking and the parking spots are very small. Here's a picture of a truck that has been parked outside my window for at least 2 weeks now.

For all of you people not from Texas I'm sure your thinking "ONLY IN TEXAS" and you know what? YOUR RIGHT!

I've spent the last few weeks drawing up plans for my new home that Chris Ferrel is building for me. He tells me it will be done in 3 months and I can't wait. However, I can wait on paying that first mortgage payment!

The house is going to be built in the Colonies and your all invited over for a party when it's finished. Just so you know there may be a cover charge at the door to help pay for the dang thing! Anyways, I hope you've enjoyed reading this blog and I promise I will post an update on what the doctors say soon. Thanks for all your prayers and support. I couldn't have made it this far without you.

God Bless,

Brian

HOME SWEET HOME

2009-01-26T21:20:00.000-08:00

I think this banner says it all. I'm finally done with radiation and back home in Amarillo. My final day of radiation consisted of .....

Radiation at 7:45 A.M

Pick dad up at the airport

Work the car auction till 3:00 P.M

Drive to Amarillo with my dad and 7 weeks of clothes in a very small car.

I was very tired after all of that to say the least. I woke up at 7:30 A.M on Thursday morning and prepared for my first day back at work. However...... Dr. Mickey had other ideas. He called me at 7:45 A.M and informed me that I was going back to bed. What can I say? It was doctors orders.

For the past several weeks my mother had been telling me she was throwing a SURPRISE Birthday party for my dad on Friday. My one duty for the party was to make sure that my dad did not leave the dealership until 7:00 P.M. Since my dad usually leaves work before that time I was trying hard to figure out how to keep him there. When I arrived at my parents house for "my dad's Birthday party" I soon realized that I had been fooled! My mother planned the party for me to welcome me home with an All Star guest list. Around 60 people were waiting for me to walk through the door to say "SUPPLIES"!! One of the many highlights of party was when I figured out that my college roommate and good friend Matt Lewis had flown in from Arkansas for the party.

My friends Jeff and Kallie came from Dallas and now you know why I called it an "All Star guest list." I want to thank everyone for coming. There's nothing better than good food and great friends to make you feel at home.

Overall I'm still feeling much like I have the past 7 weeks. The doctors say it will take some time before I begin to feel better. One of the things that makes me feel better is being at work and actually doing something productive for change. Also, it's great to be able to go back to my church where I feel at home.

That's all I have for now. I'm looking forward to spending the next month healing before I begin chemotherapy a month from now.

Thanks for reading and GOD BLESS,

Brian

I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!!

2009-01-20T22:36:00.000-08:00

Yes, that's right. Tomorrow is my final day of radiation!! I wish I could remember how many treatments I have been through, but ......... they all just run together. I've been in Dallas for the past 7 weeks and tomorrow (Wednesday) I will finally be going home for good. Ok... maybe "for good" isn't exactly correct. I'll be coming back on February 19th to meet with my neuro oncologist for an M.R.I and begin chemotherapy. During my YEAR of chemo I will be required to come back here on a regular basis for checkups. I spoke with Dr. Mickey the other day and he said he wants to do my next surgery sometime around March 2oth. I wish I could tell you the radiation has worked perfectly. However, right now that is still unknown. My radiation oncologist told me that we won't know the full results of the treatments for 3 months. So once again I'll be playing the waiting game. I'm still feeling the side effects of the treatments and the Dr. tells me I will continue to feel tired for a few months.

So what am I going to do on my final day of treatment?
Well.... I moved my appointment up to 7:45 AM! I'm going to pick my dad up from the airport right after my treatment and then head to the auction for the day. After we get out teeth kicked in at the auction we're going to drive back to Amarillo. It's probably not a bad idea to have someone to drive home with.

What's been going on lately?
Life has been pretty boring lately. I basically wake up late, go to treatment, and then go back to wherever I am staying. However, last week I had a break from the norm. My friend Amanda, from Michigan, came into town last Wednesday and spent the week in the great state of Texas. We hung out in Dallas for a couple of days and then headed to Amarillo to hang out with my family. I'm pretty sure she was just looking for an excuse to get away from negative degree weather. While I was home I was able to attend my cousin Matt's wedding shower. Congrats to Matt and Anna Grace.

That's about it for me. I should know more about what the future holds for me soon and I'll let you know. Thanks again for your continued prayers and support. I ask that you please keep me on your prayer list. I hope you all are having a great new year and are getting a good start on making this YOUR GREATEST YEAR EVER! I'm definitely not a roll model but if you can learn one thing from my blog I hope it's that you can't change the cards you've been dealt but with a strong faith in GOD and a positive attitude you can make your cards great!

Side note:
Why is it that when the CEO's of the Big 3 car manufactures fly their small planes to D.C everyone gets mad but when the US government (you and me) pay for the ex president to fly a Jumbo Jet to Texas nobody says anything?

Thanks for reading and GOD BLESS!
Brian

XMAS, NEW YEARS AND EVERYTHING ELSE

2009-01-05T21:04:00.000-08:00

CHRISTMAS

I've been pretty busy since my last post. I was able to go home on Christmas Eve and stay for 4 days. It was great being home; sleeping in my own bed, spending time with family and friends, and just getting a chance to get a little caught up on work stuff. My sister Abby came home from Georgia, so it was great getting to spend some time with her. Here's a picture of Melissa, Abby, me.The picture was taken in my parents new home which is pretty much complete. There's still little things to be done but they are finally moved in. This was the first of many holidays in the new family home base.

NEW YEARS

Even though I know that I still have many challenges ahead of me in 2009 I decided that there was still celebrating to do. 2008 was a tough year but i officially survived the year and strongly believe I am a stronger person because of the challenges I faced. Jeff, Shea, and I celebrated the end of 2008/beginning of 2009 by with dinner at Trece's and then headed to Victory Park for the big celebration. Thousands of people braved the cold weather and descended onto Victory Park. We made our way threw the crowds and ended up and a cigar bar located at the center of festivities. Luckily one of Jeff's friends is a partner in the bar.

You can tell from the pictures that we had an awesome time. When the clock struck midnight I realized that 2008 is finally behind me and my work in 2009 begins now. I have to take this chance to thank GOD and my friends and family for all their support in 2008. If it hadn't been for you all I'm not sure I would have been here to celebrate.

BIRTHDAY

For my Birthday (Dec 30th) Shea got me tickets to go see the Dallas Mavericks game on January 2nd. The game was a blast and they won!!SO WHAT'S GOING ON NOW?

Now that you've seen the fun times over the last couple of weeks I'll give you the information you probably want to hear. My radiation treatments are still going well. I've been using a new cream that has helped with the skin irritation. On Friday, my uncle David Tomlinson (my mothers step brother) was in town for the Cotton Bowl. He woke early Friday morning not feeling well and ended up being rushed to the local hospital and then air lifted to Baylor Medical Center in Dallas. He had a heart aneurysm and was rushed into surgery that day. God just made another showing in my family's life. My uncle is now doing relatively well although he is still in I.C.U. How did GOD show his hand? David lives in Gruver which is a very very small town 90 miles north of Amarillo. If he had been in Gruver on Friday there is almost a 0% chance he would still be with us today. Please keep David and his family in your prayers in the coming weeks.

THE GOOD NEWS!

I only have a couple more weeks of radiation left. It looks like my final treatment will be around the 22nd of this month. My hair is still falling out and you can tell from the pictures above that I went ahead and got a very short haircut. If you've read this entire post, thank you. I hope I didn't bore you to much. 2009 is going to be a great and challenging year. However, I know with the grace of GOD and the support of my friends and family 2009 will be MY GREATEST YEAR EVER!!!

GOD BLESS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

BRIAN

HALF WAY THERE!

2008-12-22T23:00:00.000-08:00

My life has been pretty boring over the past couple of weeks. When I wrote my last blog I was about to fly home for the weekend. The main reason for the trip was I needed to attend our company Christmas party. In tough economical times I believe that in any business it's very important to get everyone together and celebrate the holidays together. With a lot of hard work from my mother, Shea and countless others the party went off without a hitch. The afternoon before the party I went over to my parents new house to see the progress. While I was there my father pulled a bright red suede sports coat out of his closet and said "I wore this 20 years ago to all the Christmas parties ........ now it's your turn." Keep in mind this coat has been in his closet or storage for the last 20 years and it looked like it. In the spirit of carrying on tradition I agreed to wear it.

This is a picture of me giving my Emmy winning speech. This years party was especially special because December 16th was my fathers 25th anniversary of being a General Motors dealer. I just hope I can achieve this same accomplishment some day. Although the party didn't last as long as they use to (when I was younger they didn't end till the sun came up) we all had a wonderful time. Once again, in the spirit of tradition my father and I got together to sing Happy Trails to conclude the party. We might as well call it It's Time To Go The Hell Home because that's what we mean.

Here's a picture of my parents and I at the end of the night. (2 a.m)

What's new in Dallas?

Things are still going relatively well in Dallas. I stayed 2 nights at my friend Kallie's mom's house and now I'm currently living at some of Shea's friends home in Southlake while their away at Disney World. I'm pretty much just house hopping. Shea came into town on Friday too hang out with me till Christmas Eve. I would love to tell you that we have been doing a lot of exciting things but ............... we haven't. I'm so tired during the day that I pretty much just sleep most of the day. She got her first chance to go to radiation with me on Sunday. The staff at the cancer center allowed her to come into the room while they strapped me to the table.

She took some pictures before the radiation began. The one on the right is them aligning the machine on my head. Keep in mind this lovely mask is so tight that I can't open my eye lids. Every day I can feel the effects of the treatments more and more. My hair is beginning to fall out and my head is very tender. It's similar to a severe sunburn but worse. I was finally able to speak with my neuro oncologist today and she informed me that we will most likely begin chemotherapy a month after my radiation treatments are complete. My final radiation treatment is scheduled for January 23rd so get ready to celebrate. Thankfully they're giving me a couple of days off for Christmas so I'll be flying home on Wednesday and returning on Monday. I finally started my shopping today which I'm sure is not a surprise to many of you. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas. I'm not a big fan of the greedy gift exchanging this holiday brings but it's my favorite holiday because of it's true meaning. If you don't know what the true meaning is you should pick up the book A Charlie Brown Christmas. God Bless you all and have a wonderful Christmas.

Brian

I HAVE A RADIANT PERSONALITY

2008-12-11T20:21:00.000-08:00

1 Week down

I had my 6th radiation treatment today and all is well so far. On Monday I was able to visit with my radiation oncologist. He showed me all the different angles the radiation comes from and was pleased with how everything looked. When I asked him about me losing my hair he said "oh ya, you're going to loose it." I hear girls love bald guys so what the hey! During my off time I've had a chance to stop by several dealerships and visit with some old friends. Many of these people haven't seen me since I was in the hospital. They have all seemed shocked when I drive up and don't look like Frankenstein. Other than visiting old friends and having dinner with my friend Jeff last night I've pretty much just been resting. I'm definitely experiencing the fatigue the doctors warned me about. Yesterday, I had to wait in the waiting area for about an hour before they called me in for treatment. When I impatiently asked what was taking so long (like I had something else to do) one of the nurses replied "I have a 500 pound man that I'm trying to treat but he won't fit on the table." I'll let you decide whether or not that's funny. I have another treatment tomorrow afternoon and then I'm flying back to Amarillo for the weekend. It will be nice to be back home in my own bed for a few days. I wish I had more news to report but my life is pretty boring right now. If you're curious and have any questions feel free to ask. As always, thanks for your prayers, comments, and support. You have no idea how much they have helped.

P.S If you're wondering where the title of this blog came from: a good friend of mine Amanda told me I should start using the pick up line "I'm tall, dark, and handsome with a radiant personality!"

Thanks for reading and GOD BLESS

Brian

2 DOWN..... 30+ TO GO!

2008-12-07T20:05:00.000-08:00

My life has been a whirlwind since my last post. I went to my Infectious Disease Dr. appointment last Monday and was also able to meet with Dr. Mickey. Both appointments went well. The I.D doctor saw no signs of infection and removed the PIC line out my arm. That means no more I.V which I am very thankful for. Dr. Mickey looked at my incision and after pushing very hard on it said it looked good. Here's a little dialogue from my visit with him.

Me: impatient and frustrated "will you just tell me what the next step is and when we're going to do it?"

Dr. Mickey: thinks about it for 15 seconds "well we will either start radiation at the end of this week or the beginning of next week."

That's definatly not the response I was expecting. I was hoping we would wait till after the holidays and my Birthday (it's December 30th...... so get shopping! haha) but oh well. I'm glad to be getting it over with. I waited around the next couple of days for someone to call me and tell me when we would start the radiation. Here's some dialogue from when my Radiation Oncologist nurse called me Wednesday afternoon.

Nurse: "Mr. Lair your first radiation treatment will be tomorrow (Thursday) at 2:30 p.m ....... unless that's a problem."

Me: surprised "Problem?......... Ma'm I live in Amarillo!"

Nurse: "Hahaha that's what I thought."

Me: "Well if that's when I need to be there I guess I can make that happen."

As I'm sure you can see I had very little time to pack and move to Dallas for more than 6 WEEKS. So, I did my best to get everything in order and drove to Dallas early Thursday morning. My first radiation treatment was a long one. They strapped my head to a table for 45 minutes while they took X-rays to make sure everything lined up correctly and then administered the radiation. I don't think saying "they strapped my head to a table" does it justice. They place the hard plastic mesh mask on my head and tighten the ever living ******* (use whatever word you feel comfortable with) out it. It's so tight I can't even open my eye lids. Other than that the procedure is relatively painless. I'll be going threw this 5 days a week for the next 6 weeks. The actual radiation time is only about 10 minutes a day but it takes about an hour and a half from the time I arrive at the hospital till I leave.

So what am I going to do with the rest of my time for the next 6 weeks?

I'm really not sure yet. I can already feel the effects of the radiation by the way it makes me feel tired. Fortunately, I'm very blessed that my friends Tim and BJ Parra are allowing me to stay at their home in Las Colinas. They don't really live here much anymore so I'm pretty much on my own. Tim and BJ if your reading this THANK YOU!! As most of you know I lived in Dallas for 3 1/2 years so I still have a pretty good network of friends to occupy my time. I've spent the last 2 nights hanging out with 2 of my closest friend Jeff and Kallie Hauschild.

Well........ that's all I have for now. It looks like I'm going to have alot of time on my hands so I'm sure I'll be updating this again soon. As always I greatly appreciate your concern and support.

God Bless,

Brian

Happy Thanksgiving and a Little Q&A

2008-11-26T21:27:00.000-08:00

I want to wish everyone a very happy Thanksgiving. Even in times like these we all have a lot to be thankful for. I have many things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. However, right now I'm especially thankful for my health and all my friends and family members who have stood by my side during the last 4 months. Some people may read this and say "how can you be thankful for your health?" Well.... with all the things that have gone on I feel very blessed to be able to spend this holiday with my loved ones. If you are reading this, you have most likely supported my recovery and I'm very thankful for your support.

Many concerned people have asked me a lot of questions over the past few weeks so I thought a little Q&A session was in order.

Q: When will I have my next surgery? / When will I begin radiation?
A: Right now, I'm not positive on the exact time frame for either of these procedures. I'm going back to Dallas on the 1st to visit with my Infectious Disease Dr. and then I see Dr. Mickey on the 10th. I should know what the game plan is after my visit with Dr. Mickey. It's very possible that I will either have surgery or begin radiation during the middle of December. However, It's my opinion that I won't start either one until at least the first of January. I really don't want to be in the hospital during the holidays but I will do whatever the experts tell me to.

Q: Will the removed piece of my skull grow back?
A: Unfortunately............ NO, I'm not a worm. I will be going back to Dallas sometime soon to have prosthetic plastic skull piece placed in the opening.

Q: Am I still on an I.V and if so how much longer will have to be on it?
A: Yes, I'm still required to take an I.V for 2 1/2 hours twice a day. I'm not positive when I will be able to quit. If everything goes well during my Dr. appointment on Monday I should be able to stop the I.V at that time.

Q: Is GM going bankrupt?
A: In my opinion: NO!!!! General Motors is a global car manufacturer who's primary business is not all the in United States. They manufacture and sell cars all over world and their business is prospering in other regions. There will be a "bail out" of some kind. 25 billion may sound like a lot of money to LOAN an industry but if the Big 3 were to fail it would cost the American tax payers over 120 BILLION in the first year alone. I've been asked this question a lot lately so I figured I would use this blog to put in my 2 cents.

That's all the questions I can think of right now. If you have any further questions just put them in the comments section and I will answer them in my next blog.

I just had a great Thanksgiving dinner with my family at my grandmothers house. I over ate as usual and have no regrets. Tomorrow, my father and I are headed to Dallas to see Cowboys game. GMAC gave us tickets to their suite so it should be a great time. Have a wonderful time with your friends and family tomorrow and take this time to thank GOD for the many things he has blessed us with.

Take Care,
Brian

Turning 16 All Over Again

2008-11-15T22:35:00.000-08:00

Ok Ok I know everyone thinks I'm a slacker because I haven't updated this blog in a long while. I'm sorry and I greatly appreciate your interest and concern. So........ here's what is new in my world.

My sister Abby came into town at the end of last month and spent a week with us. I hadn't seen her since she came to Dallas for my first surgery so it was great to be able to spend some time with her. F.Y.I, Abby is doing great. She is still living in Georgia and seems to really enjoy it there. Here's a picture of the two of us.

On November 5th I made the trip back to Dallas to have another M.R.I, meet with a infectious disease doctor, and visit with Dr. Mickey. Overall the trip went well. My M.R.I showed that the cancer has not really grown since my first surgery which is a TRUE BLESSING FROM GOD. Dr. Mickey used me as a ginny pig as he allowed one of his residence to remove the stitches from head. One of the great things that came from the trip was I FINALLY got clearance to drive a car again. I felt as if I had just turned 16 again. He made me promise him I wouldn't drive any race cars so I'll try to abide by that for a while anyways. When I talked to Dr. Mickey a couple of days later I told him I was driving a new Corvette and he just laughed. What?..... it's not a true race car.

Yesterday, the home health care nurse came by to draw my weakly blood levels. After she poked me 4 times with no success we finally decided that we better wait a day and try again. There's nothing like feeling like a human pin cushion. They sent another lady by this morning and she was able to strike blood both times on the first try. I'm still required to take IV antibiotics twice a day for 2 and a half hours each. The blood test basically check to see what the high and low levels of antibiotics are staying in my system. Unfortunately today's results weren't good. They showed that I am being over medicated which could lead to kidney failure. I spoke with Dr. Mickey this afternoon and he lowered my dosage a little bit. They are going to draw blood again on Tuesday and hopefully the results will be better.

SO WHAT'S NEXT?

Right now the plan is for me to meet with the infectious disease doctor on December 1st and then see Dr. Mickey on the 11th. That's when they will decide whether I should have a surgery to insert a plastic skull piece or begin radiation first. I feel like I will probably begin radiation either during the middle of December or the first of January.

So..... that's what has been going on in my world. I've been feeling pretty well considering my last surgery was just about 3 weeks ago. My strength and stamina is slowly coming back and I've been able to go into work for at least a few hours each day. I greatly appreciate your patience and I promise to update more often. I've figured out that updating this blog is similar to mowing your grass. The more often you mow/update the easier it is. Lately, I've waited too long and I end up writing a book. I hope everyone is doing well and keeping a positive attitude. I believe that keeping positive attitude and strong faith in GOD is the most important thing no matter whether you're dealing with a medical issue or a down economy. Just remember "life is what you make of it." You have a choice every morning. You can either choose to be positive or negative. So when you wake up tomorrow morning CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE! Thanks for reading my mess of a blog. I can't tell you how much your prayers, support, and comments have helped me over the past several months.

God Bless,

Brian

BACK HOME AGAIN

2008-10-28T22:46:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's taken so long for me to post a new blog. As I'm sure you have already read, I had my fourth surgery about a week and a half ago. Everything went went well and I was released from the hospital last Friday. So far my recovery has been easier than from my prior surgeries. The swelling in my head is starting to go down and the crater in my forehead is beginning to be noticeable. When I asked the doctor what precautions I need to take to protect my skulless head he replied "no knife fights." One of my good friends Jeff had some encouraging words for me right after surgery, "Brian you're not as big of a bone head as you use to be." Even though I've found out that I'm allergic to 6 different antibiotics I haven't had any rashes YET. The crater in my head is beginning to become more noticeable as the swelling in my head goes down. With all the stares I've been getting I've come up with a few different ideas for t-shirts I need to get

"Keep starring I might do a trick"
"What? I have cancer!"
"At least my hair is going to grow back"

Unfortunately I'm back to being stuck on an IV twice a day for two and a half hours. My blood test today showed that the antibiotic levels are finally at therapeutic levels. The next step in this ongoing saga is for me to go back to Dallas on Wednesday. While I'm there I will have an MRI and meet with Dr. Mickey. If the MRI shows that the cancer has not grown we will wait to begin radiation treatments. If it has grown we will have to speed up the process.

I want to thank all of you for all your prayers and support. I'm very fortunate to have such a great support network of friends and family during this difficult time. Check back soon as I will be posting new information and pictures. Thanks again and GOD bless.

This is not his first rodeo...

2008-10-20T14:27:00.000-07:00

Not even in Brian's worst nightmares would he have dreamed he would be back in room 507 at Zale Lipshy Hospital....

On Thursday evening Brian was relaxing in Florida when he felt that his hair was wet. He soon realized that it was a brown fluid that was coming from his incision. Brian knew what that meant.... infection. Brian called Dr. Mickey's emergency line, and left a message about what was going on. Well, Brian and Dr. Mickey are becoming pretty tight so shortly after 11:00 p.m. Dr. Mickey called Brian on his cell phone and told him that he needed to get to Dallas ASAP! Brian had been planning on flying into Oklahoma City to meet Greg and the gang for a drag race, but was detoured to Dallas.

Upon arriving at the hospital on Friday night, Dr. Mickey looked at Brian's head and confirmed that it was infection. Surgery for the 4th time was the only option for Brian. Surgery was scheduled for Monday afternoon, and Brian was put on an antibiotic to control the infection. On Saturday afternoon a few of Brian's friends came to spend the day with him. We were successful in escaping him from the hospital for a dinner out on the town. Besides the IV sticking out from his hand, it was almost as if we were just hanging out in Dallas with friends. Sunday was basically just a waiting game. It is pretty miserable waiting around knowing what is about to come. Although Brian was dreading the surgery he was so strong waiting.

Monday morning came and the Doctors came and said that the surgery would be around 4:00. God must have known that Brian was tired of waiting because at 12:00 they came to get him. Brian was in shock when they came and he did not have much time to get prepared. As they were taking him off he was so brave. He was just ready to get it done! We were told that the surgery would not last too long.

This surgery was different than the others in the fact that they were not only going to clean out the infection, but part of his skull would also be temporarily removed. Dr. mickey could tell from the MRI that the skull piece that was removed during original brain surgery was infected. He felt that the only way to get rid of the infection that Brian has been fighting was to remove the skill flap for 3-6 months. He will then go in and replace it with a plastic mold. Yes... that means surgery number 5 will be in the future.

The surgery lasted about 2 and a half hours. Dr. Mickey came out and said that Brian had done great! They cleaned out the infection, and removed two pieces of his skull. Dr. Mickey is very confident that this will take care of the infection. It was comforting to know that Brian was smiling when they woke him up. We were able to go into ICU and see him about 4:00. He looked great considering he had just had his 4th surgery! Brian had a great spirit and was handling the pain well. They ended up keeping him in ICU over night.

Today he is doing much better. He is back in his room on the 5th floor and all the nurses are catering to his every need! This trip Brian has found out that he is allergic to even more antibiotics. The list on his hospital bracelet is getting long! The doctors are working hard to find an antibiotic that works for him since he will have to come home on an IV. Please continue to keep Brian in your thoughts and prayers as he continues his battle. He is so thankful for the great friends and family that he has! He is so handling the situation very well and continues to have a positive attitude! I guess when you have been through this 4 times you learn how to handle it. God is good and He will get Brian through this! Thanks again!

shea

HOLDING PATTERN

2008-10-12T13:36:00.000-07:00

So things have been pretty quit around my household lately. I went back to Dallas on Wednesday and visited with both my neuro-surgeon and radiation oncologist. I had it set in my mind that I was going to go down there and accomplish 2 things. One, set up my radiation treatments to begin within the next week and two, convince my Doctor to allow me to drive again. Well...... the long and the short of it is I accomplished neither of my goals. Because of the severe infection I had Dr. Mickey wants to wait 4 weeks before I begin radiation treatments. The good news is, I had another MRI scan done on Wednesday morning and it showed that my tumor had not grown since my first surgery. However, this all basically means that I have to put my life on hold for another 4 weeks. I gave Dr. Mickey my best sales pitch to try and convince him that I am capable of driving again. He basically said "rules are rules" and his final answer was NO. If you know me at all you should know that when I get something in my head I put all my energy into making it happen. Even though the news that my cancer had not grown was a blessing, it was still very frustrating to know that I have another 4 weeks of being unproductive and not being able to drive.

After we left Dr. Mickey's office we went over to visit with my radiation oncologist Dr. Timmerman. He was very positive but seemed disturbed to hear that Dr. Mickey wanted me to wait 4 weeks before beginning my treatment. While I was at his office his assistants "measured" me for my radiation mask. Now, when I hear the word measure I think of of using a tape-measure or a ruler. Well... that's not exactly what happened. I had to lay on a CAT scan table with my head in an awkward position while a large lady basically suffocated me with a piece of plastic mesh that she had heated up. The mask will be used to BOLT my head to the radiation table so I'm unable to move. Sounds like fun doesn't it?

Here's a sample of what the final product looks like.

So, as the title of this blog says my life is pretty much in a holding pattern for a few weeks before I begin radiation. I have still not decided which neuro-oncologist I'm going with but it looks like I've been given a little extra time to decide. In the meantime, I'm going to go visit some friends in Florida for the week to try and get away from all this stress. As always, thank you so very much for all your thoughts and prayers. I'll post again soon.

PICS, PICS, AND MORE PICS

2008-10-02T22:15:00.000-07:00

I appreciate you checking in on me to see what's new in my EXCITING (sarcasm) life. During this past week my doctors have continued to take me off more of my medications in hopes of stopping my rash from re-emerging each day. The good news is I no longer have to take IV antibiotics for 6 hours each day and I am down to taking ONLY 12 pills each day. I am now stitches and staples free and just as you had hoped I have pictures to prove it.

Just a few of my stitches.

The 35 staples held it all together. The nurse was even kind enough to leave me the staple puller.

Considering my incision has been opened up 3 times I don't think it looks to bad.

Staples and stitches aren't the only things I've had removed from body lately. On Wednesday my nurse came buy and removed PIC line. For those of you who don't know this is a line they put in my left bicep that ran threw a vein to the top of my heart. I had no idea how long this line was until it was being pulled out. I felt like a clown was performing a circus trick. The line ended up being over 3 feet long.

Keep in mind I've had this line in for over a month so what lie beneath wasn't very pretty.

I'm sure that photo makes you look forward to eating your next meal.

I think I've grossed everyone out with my graphic photos. On Wednesday I will be traveling back to Dallas to have another MRI scan and meat with my neuro-surgeon, radiation oncologist and possible neuro-oncologist. The purpose of the trip is to make sure I no longer have any infection and set up my radiation treatments. I'm still trying to decide on which oncologist to use, but this trip should get me a lot closer to making a decision.

I am continuing to regain my strength each day and am looking forward to beginning the next phase of my treatment. I can't thank everyone enough for your continued support. Your prayers and positive comments may seem small but they make a huge difference to me on a daily basis.

I'M JUST A DUMB A CAR DEALER

2008-09-28T19:21:00.000-07:00

Well as most of you know I had my all important doctors’ appointment at M.D Anderson on Thursday in Houston. Other than having to wake up at 4 a.m and then gouging my shin on the taxi cab door the trip down there was a success. It was a little surreal arriving at the "top cancer hospital in the U.S" and realizing that I was there as a patient, not a visitor. Everywhere I looked there were people who I could tell had been through a great deal of chemotherapy and radiation. I guess you could say it just made things more REAL to me. We made our way to the 7th floor and completed ALL the necessary paperwork and then began to visit with different nurses. One nurse came in and did a modified physical on me. One of the questions she asked was spell the word world backwards. It sounds easy, but it wasn't. Or, I might just be slow; you try it and let me know. I was finally able to visit with the neuro-oncologist Dr. Groves after he had already reviewed my before and after MRI scans. Dr. Groves was very blunt and confident. He talked about how great of a job he felt that Dr. Mickey did on my surgery, which was comforting. After we had asked our million and one questions it basically comes down to two oncologist having two different opinions about how we should treat the remaining cancer. Dr. Maher in Dallas, believes we should treat the cancer with a combination of both chemotherapy and radiation while Dr. Groves wants to do radiation first and most likely do chemotherapy afterwards. Because of the recent advancements in chemotherapy there is no research as to what the benefits or long term side effects of doing the combination of treatments at the same time are.

After reading that I think you can see where the title of this blog comes from; I have two experts giving me different opinions and I’m supposed to decide which one is right. As if making that decision isn’t hard enough, I also have to decide which radiation oncologist to perform the radiation treatments. I will most likely have the 6 weeks of radiation performed in Dallas or Houston. If you live in or around Houston don’t read the next couple of sentences. I’m sure Houston is a great city but I can think of a million other places I would rather spend 6 weeks of my life. I lived in Dallas for almost 4 years and have a lot friends there so Dallas is my first choice as far as locations go. However, location isn’t what matters and I will go wherever I feel I can get the best treatment. Any want to go spend 6 weeks in Juarez, Mexico with me?

Both of the oncologist I spoke to feel that we need to begin the radiation treatments pretty quickly. However, I spoke to my neuro-surgeon Dr. Mickey on Friday, and he wants to see me again before I do anything. Of course thinking like a car dealer, while on the phone with him I asked him if my second two surgeries were under warranty; he just laughed. I will most likely go back to Dallas within the next two weeks to have another MRI to make sure I no longer have an infection and have healed enough to begin radiation. As you can see I have a lot of thinking/research to do and some big decisions to make in the coming weeks. I know that at the end of the day GOD will give me the guidance I need to make the right decision.

Well I think I’ve taken up enough of your time for today. I greatly appreciate your interest and support in the battle I am dealing with right now and I look forward to posting good news in the near future. If I can ask you for 1 favor, that is to continue to pray for my continued healing and ask GOD to give me the guidance to choose the right treatment.

PICTURES AND MORE

2008-09-21T23:13:00.000-07:00

So I've spent the last couple of days pretty much laying around my apartment trying to figure out how to stop my new rash from taking over my body again. My neuro surgeon finally returned from China on Saturday so I was able to speak with him about my current condition. He ended up calling my dermatologist and they decided that I should quit taking one of my seizure medicines and put me on steroid pills for 2 weeks. If only I was able to work-out right now I could take full advantage of the steroids. We ended up being short handed at work Saturday so I sucked it up and went to work. I thought I was going to be able to sit behind a desk but ended up walking all over the dealership speaking to customers. I look like hell so I used the sympathy line to sell a few cars. Would you really expect anything less from me? I've never in my life had any type of facial hair but over the past month I've just let it go. Here's a picture of my new look that I'm sure you'll see in Hollywood very soon.I wore myself out on Saturday but it felt good to do something productive for a change. I'm still taking my 30 pills a day and dealing with my IV 3 times a day. I figured it our and I spend 6 hours a day sitting on my IV machine.

If that image doesn't make you think of your grandfather I don't know what will. I still have my lovely Frankenstein like staples in head that really improve my TV reception. I sent my Dr. some pictures of my incision and he said I could have all my staples and stitches removed on Wednesday. Here's some current pictures of how my it all looks.

I was really hoping they would leave these things in for a while because it sure helps picking up the ladies. Other than that I'm still praying that this rash goes away and I have a good visit at M.D Anderson on Thursday. Thank all of you for your support and concern and I will update with more information as soon as I know more.

SO WHAT'S GOING ON?

2008-09-19T13:14:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been a few days since my last post. Ever since my first surgery my vision has been poor at best. I have a little information to report but not much. The rash that I have been dealing with over the past couple of weeks has started to re-emerge on my lower back. I went to the dermatologist yesterday and was told to start using my steroid cream again. I'm praying this works because I don't know if I can handle the full body infection again. On another note, I was able to get an appointment at M.D Anderson on this coming Thursday. This will allow me to get a second opinion from a neuro oncologist so that I can plan my chemo and radiation treatments. Even though I know the radiation is going to be tough, I'm ready to get started. Other than that I'm continuing to take my 39 pills a day and IV treatments every 8 hours. The IV treatments are a little bit more of a burden than I originally thought. Every treatment takes about 2 hours and my apartment is beginning to resemble my hospital room. Overall I'm feeling pretty good considering what I've been through over the past month. The swelling in my legs and feet seems to be declining, even though I still haven't found a pair of shoes to fit my feet. My head still looks like I'm dressing up as Frankenstein for Halloween. They should be able to remove the staples and stitches sometime in the next week. My strength is slowing coming back as I try to get up and get around for a little bit each day. I want to thank all of you for your continued prayers and support. I'm very blessed to have such a great support network of friends and family members to help me through this difficult time. I hope to have more news very soon and I will post any new information as it comes available. Thanks again.

HOME SWEET HOME!!

2008-09-16T00:03:00.000-07:00

i just wanted to write a quick note to let everyone know that I'm finally back in the great city of Amarillo as of Sunday. I can't tell you how good it felt to be home and sleep in my own bed last night. I definitely don't miss having nurses wake me up at all hours of the night to poke and prod me. Even though I'm out of the hospital I still have to be connected to an I.V. Right now learning how to hook up my IV is a challenge. I have to hook up myself up to the IV machine every 8 hours and let it run for an hour and a half. They say I will have to do this for the next 4 weeks.

So what's next?

The first thing I have to do is finish recovering from my 3 surgeries and my infection. The good news is my swelling seems to be reducing. I'm currently trying to reschedule my appointment with the oncologist at M.D Anderson so we can decide on the treatment strategy to remove the remaining cancer. I still have the staples and stitches in my head and will hopefully have them removed in the next week or so. Other than that, my current plan is to get some rest and begin trying to regain my strength.

Once again, thanks for all the prayers and support. Even though this battle is far from over I feel that the worst is behind me. I look forward to seeing you all very soon.

SHOULD I EXPECT ANYTHING ELSE?

2008-09-13T13:49:00.000-07:00

As you have probably already read, I have been impatiently waiting to be released from hospital over the past few days. I woke up this morning and spoke with one of my doctors why finally gave me the GREEN light. I can go home!! As I began to get my things in order and plan my trip home I realized that getting home wasn't going to be easy. I guess there's this little hurricane Ike that is hitting Texas today and all flights are canceled. I've been in the hospital for over a month now and on the one day that I get to leave there has to be a dang hurricane in Dallas. Like the title of this blog says "SHOULD I EXPECT ANYTHING ELSE?" It seems like that's just the way things have been going for me lately. So, I'm spending another night in the hospital and will be flying home tomorrow morning. I can't wait to get home and sleep in my bed. I'm not sure how I'm going to get up my stairs yet, but I'm sure I'll figure it out. For those of you who are interested to see what I'm talking about when I say I have some swelling in my legs and feet here are a few pictures. Thanks for your support and I look forward to seeing you soon.

FRUSTRATION

2008-09-12T18:45:00.000-07:00

Frustration is defiantly the word of the day. I woke up this morning and took a shower for the 2nd time in 2 weeks. I then began to get all my things together. Why would I be doing all of this? Well for the past couple of days I have been being told that I would be released today. All my lovely nurses have been coming by to say goodbye saying they had seen on my chart that I would be released. Then the doctor comes in…………. While I’m exaggerating about how great I feel and how much I’m looking forward to getting home he burst my bubble by telling me that my blood levels are still not correct so I will not be going home today. I was very frustrated to say the least and did my best negotiating job with no success. The blood levels he was referring to have something to do with levels of antibiotics I will be taking for the next 6 weeks. As long as these levels improve I should be cleared to go home before Monday. My current condition is good compared to the previous weeks. My biggest problem right now is the infectious rash and swelling. My skin hurts and is peeling off like potato chips (thanks Jeff) while my legs and feet are swollen to 4 times their normal size. Walking is a huge challenge and feels like I’m walking on a bed of glass. My energy level is as low as it has ever been. A trip to the bathroom requires a 3 hour nap to recover. However, I have been making myself walk and my stamina is greatly improving. Ok, enough complaining. If you think about it, for a guy who has had 3 brain surgeries in the last 3 weeks biggest complaint to be some swelling and a rash isn’t too bad. There’ve been a few extra bumps in the road but none of it has been more than I can handle. I just figure chemotherapy and radiation should be a breeze compared to the last 4 weeks. That’s about all I have for now. Hopefully I will be writing a blog from home very soon. Thanks to all of you who have prayed for me over the past month. It may not seem like a big deal but I know that wouldn’t have been able to make it this far without them. God is a funny guy who throws you a curveball sometimes. Thankfully he is always there to help you through it. I just try to tell myself “pain is temporary – glory is forever.” I’m writing my testimony one day at a time right now.

update

2008-09-10T21:32:00.000-07:00

It is crazy to think that a small skin irritation could turn into such an intrusive and painful rash. The rash that started on Brian's neck has now taken over his entire body. It starts out itching but soon becomes extremely painful. After a few days of intense pain the skin begins to peel. His skin looks like he has suffered from a sever burn. The doctors are working hard to control his pain but it never seems to go away. The rash has also caused his legs and arms to become incredibly swollen. He is basically hanging out in the hospital and waiting out all the stages of the rash. The doctors still feel like the rash originated from a reaction to an antibiotic. Who would have thought that Brian would endure 3 brain surgeries, but be suffering so much from a rash?

On the up side of things.... his fever finally broke today and for the first time in 11 days he is fever free. The doctors are sure that the fever was directly linked to the rash, so we are hopeful that the rash is in its final days. The doctors have said that Brian should be able to leave the hospital by this weekend or the beginning of next week. We are keeping our fingers crossed! His head is healing nicely from the 3rd surgery and the doctors all say that things look great! Honestly his head is over shadowed by the rash right now. His blood levels were low after the 3rd surgery, so today they gave him more blood. He is already feeling better and has more energy since receiving the blood. Hopefully this will give him the strength and energy that is needed to come home! Brian still has a good attitude and he continues to play the cards as they are dealt. He is so grateful for all of your prayers and support! Please continue to keep him in your prayers as he battles this terrible rash! Thanks!

They say the third time's a charm....

2008-09-07T11:51:00.000-07:00

Ok so I’m lying here in the hospital (I know you’re shocked) and I figured I would give a little update on what’s going on in my crazy life. Oh ya, I should probably let you know I’m having a blood transfusion as I type this so I think I deserve a hall pass for any errors in this blog. So, what’s been going on in my life since my last blog post last Saturday? That’s a great question and if you have seen the move Groundhog Day, that should give you a pretty good idea. Friday through Sunday were pretty good days. I had a good appetite and was getting up and walking without any issues. On Monday morning I woke up feeling horrible with a 103 degree temperature and sore throat from hell. I think Neuro surgeons think fevers are a little beneath them because my doctor had to call a “regular” doctor to come see me. After we figured out I had a high fever we also discovered that I had a rash covering the majority of my body. My skin had been irritated for a couple of days prior but I just figured that I’m an itchy person. My “regular” doctor and every other doctor that wanted to come in and see “rash boy” decided that some of the antibiotics were causing the rash and sore throat. They have spent the last few days trying to figure out which one of the 500 antibiotics, they have me on, is the culprit. Wednesday was pretty much another Groundhog Day. I think my temperature was 102.8 degrees when I woke up and I pretty much spent the entire day in bed pushing my pain medicine pump button while trying not to scratch my rash (entire body). Even though I was so sick on Wednesday we were still hoping that I would be released from the hospital so that I could make it to Houston for, what else but, a doctor’s appointment. I put my best negotiating skills to work…………… with no luck. I guess there’s some stupid rule that says you must be fever free for 24 hours before you can be released. So I missed my second appointment at M.D Anderson in 2 weeks. I guess that brings us to Thursday, another Groundhog Day. My rash had only gotten worse and covered 90% of my body and I was still running a 103 degree fever. I knew there was no chance of me getting go home, but I was not prepared for what was to come. On Thursday afternoon I learned that my blood levels were very low and that I had no choice but to receive a blood transfusion. A person my size should have a blood count of 16 and mine was only 7.4. This was really not what I wanted to hear but they insured me that it would make me feel better. They said the whole process would take about 7 hours. About half way through the transfusion I was greeted by two neuro surgeons who informed me that the recent CAT scan showed that there was another infection in my head. They went on to tell me that the only way to get rid of the infection was to go in AGAIN and get it. My reaction to the news was not a pleasant one. Not only would I be having a 3rd brain surgery…. but Dr. Mickey is in China so a doctor I have never heard of would be performing the surgery. With the other two surgeries I had a few days to prepare myself, but with this one I was given less than 24 hours. That takes me to today, Friday…. The doctor said that the surgery would be in the afternoon sometime, but I am pretty sure he was looking at a different clock. They came to take me into surgery at 10:00 this morning. It was all a little crazy and I could not believe that I was going into surgery for the 3rd time in less than a month. The surgery went well and the doctor felt good about getting out all of the infection. When I woke up I still had a fever as well as the very painful rash. They shaved more of my head this time and they also put two drain tubes in my head. Thankfully the drain tubes have not been as painful as the one after the second surgery was. I was actually able to get up and walk shortly after my surgery. This is defiantly a first one for me. I figure that the sooner I can walk and eat, the sooner I can get out of here. I have never missed Amarillo this much, and I am anxious to get back home. Thank you so much for all the prayers and support that you have given me during the last month. Please continue to keep me in your prayers! God will see me through this!

uncertainty....

2008-09-03T22:24:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to give a quick update on how Brian is doing. I wish I could say that everything was great and he was at home but unfortunately that is not the case. On Monday morning Brian woke up with a terrible sore throat and a rash on his neck. We soon learned that he also was running a 102˚ temperature. As the day progressed his throat continued to become more irritated and the rash continued to spread. Since then his temp has ranged fro 103˚ down to 99˚. The rash has spread over his whole body and his throat still hurts. He has not had much of an appetite because he knows that requires swallowing and the pain is unbearable at times. Several doctors have been in with the hopes of a remedy, but so far they have not been able to pinpoint the cause of the rash, sore throat, or the temperature. They are not even sure if it is related to the surgery.

As far as his head goes…. his incision is healing very well and the swelling is almost completely gone. It is night and day from the first surgery! He looks great! On Tuesday morning he had a CAT scan that showed a small amount of swelling on his forehead. Dr. Mickey decided to extract the fluid and test it for infection. We are still waiting on the labs to come back to know if it is an infection or not. We are constantly praying that it is not another infection!

Right now there are so many unanswered questions…. Hopefully we will have the answers soon! Although Brian is very uncomfortable and in a lot of pain; he has somehow continued to keep a positive attitude towards the whole situation. He truly is amazing! Please pray that the doctors will figure out the cause of Brian’s pain and that God will heal him! Through all this uncertainty, the only thing that is certain is that God is right beside Brian. Thanks for all the prayers!

Round 2

2008-08-30T22:49:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the delayed update but the past couple of days have been hectic and painful to say the least. On Thursday, I had my second brain surgery in order to clear my head of the infection. The surgery went well and was a much shorter 3 hours long compared to the 8 hours it took the first round. After surgery I had to spend 3 more hours in the recovery room while they tried to get my pain under control. After my 12th shot of morphine the Dr. finally figured out that it was going to take something stronger to relive the pain. They installed a drain tube in the right side of my head in order to keep me from swelling as much as I did the first go around. The drain tube sounds like a great idea but was also where the majority of my pain came from after the surgery. I spent the rest of the day on Thursday asking everyone to be quit while I tried to get some sleep. I think the nursing staff got tired of me paging them every 2 hours asking for more pain medication during my first stay because they installed a pain pump this time. The pain pump is basically an IV that gives me control of when I get pain medication. I can push a button every 6 minutes and it dispenses more medication. Basically, I’m living my life 6 minutes at time right now. Overall, my pain is a little worse from this surgery but my overall condition is better. I’m walking and talking with very little issues and I’m actually eating full meals. The Dr. is still telling me that I need to take it easy for a while and get some rest. They think I will probably be here until Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. Fortunately, it looks like I am going to be able to meet with a radiologist Tuesday and then go to my neuro-oncologist appointment in Houston on Thursday. If things go as planned I will most likely go directly to Houston on Wednesday evening. This little bump in the road is almost over so now we can concentrate back on removing the rest of the cancer. I appreciate all the supportive calls and messages. It makes lying in this hospital bed much easier knowing that I have an awesome support team all over the country. To sum things up I just want to let everyone know that my surgery went well and I am now just trying to recover. My head is a little swollen and I have about 70 staples in my head but I look much better than I did after my first surgery. We should know more about when I will be released in the next couple of days and I will update this site when that information comes available. Please continue to keep me in your prayers and send positive thoughts my way. I look forward to seeing you all real soon.

Brian

Just Another Day In Paradise

2008-08-27T22:21:00.000-07:00

Well........ It's 12:30 am on Thursday morning and I'm laying here in my hospital bed thinking about the next day/days/week/weeks to come. Tomorrow afternoon I am having my second brain surgery in the past 3 weeks. As you have probably already read I discovered, on Monday, that I have an infection in my head from my previous surgery. The infection is serious enough that Dr. Mickey and his team will be re-opening my incision and skull in order to wash out all of the infection. Dr. Mickey said the odds of getting this type of infection are 1 in 100. I'm so lucky :) Basically, I'm having the same surgery I had 3 weeks ago minus the whole removing the brain part. They say the recovery process should be easier so I'm crossing my fingers hoping they are right. I want to thank you all for all your supportive comments, calls, and most important prayers over the past few weeks. It may seem like everything is against me right now but I'm just looking at this as another speed bump in the race track of life. My strength is being tested right now but I know that GOD won't put me through anything I can not handle. Ok, the pain medication is starting to kick in, so I should probably get some sleep before the big day. You can check back here over the next few days for updates on how the surgery went. Thanks again for your support and I'll see you all real soon.

Brian

Plans have changed....

2008-08-25T19:33:00.000-07:00

Well just when you think things are moving are moving forward..... you are thrown a curve ball. Brian was planning on flying to Houston tomorrow for an appointment with MD Anderson but his plan drastically changed.....

Around 2:00 this afternoon Brian called me back to let me know that his incision had opened and his head was seeping or gushing fluid. Dr. Mickey told Brian to come to Dallas so that he could look at his head and possibly keep him over night. Greg and Brian flew to Dallas for what they thought was a short trip. Shortly after arriving back at Zale Zipshy hospital Dr. Mickey looked at Brian's incision and informed him that his head was very infected. He also informed Brian that he would have to go back in through the original incision and clean up the infection. So now Brian is waiting in a room to have surgery AGAIN. He had one CAT scan tonight and he will have another one tomorrow morning. This will tell the doctor more about the location of the infection. Please pray that the infection is just between the skin and the skull, and that it has not gotten into the brain. The good news is that he is already feeling some pressure relief from the fluid draining. Right now he is being pumped with antibiotics until they know when Dr. Mickey will go back in. Brian thinks it will be a couple of days before they do surgery. Brian is so positive and just looks at this as another bump in the road. We all just have to remember that God is bigger than this and He is going to take care of Brian! Thanks for all the prayers that have already been prayed and all the ones to come!

Just a Quick Update

2008-08-23T22:18:00.000-07:00

I wish had some crazy exciting story to tell everyone today but............... I don't. I got home from Dallas on Tuesday night and left my apartment for the first time on Friday evening. I pretty much just vegged out for a few days. On Friday I finally decided that I needed to get out of the house and so something or I was never going to get my strength back. Friday I went to the dealership and stood up for 2 hours straight and then went and had dinner at Chili's. I know it doesn't sound like a very exciting Friday night but compared to the last 2 Fridays it was a party. Today I went to lunch with Shea's family and actually ate a full meal. (If you didn't know I lost 20 lbs over the past 2 weeks.) We then went to the dealership for a while, stopped by my parents new house, and then went over to a family friends house for a cook out. I probably over did myself today but it's better than being a couch potato and only getting weaker.

So what's next??

On Tuesday I'm scheduled to meet with a neuro oncologist at M.D Anderson in Houston. This will be the 2nd oncologist I've seen and I will then make a decision on which one I feel most comfortable with. The good thing about M.D Anderson is they are the starting point for most clinical trials. I don't mind being a lab rat as long as I have a chance of being cured.

After I decide on which oncologist to go with we will then plan when and where I will do my radiation treatments. They act like the radiation should begin within the next couple of weeks. I'm currently enjoying having hair and stocking up on sunscreen.

How I feel now.

I still have severe swelling in my head which feels like I have a 2 year old's wrist band around my head at all times. Other than being weak the headaches are my only complaints. My days pretty much consist of watching the clock to see when I get to take my next pain medication. I'm currently taking a total 25 pills 8 times a day. It's a full time job just keeping up it all.

Thanks Again

I know I've said this a few times but I can't thank all of you enough for the support you have shown me over the past few weeks. You all have made an unbearable situation much much easier to deal with. I feel very fortunate to have such a great support network to help me through this difficult time.

I wish I had more to report but considering the type of surgery I just had I feel very blessed to be doing as well as I am. The headaches suck but things could be much worse. I'll write again soon and hopefully I'll have a miraculous story to tell.

Brian

Home Sweet Home

2008-08-20T21:44:00.000-07:00

Well.... I guess I should start off by saying sorry for taking so long to update this page. The past couple of days of been a whirlwind of activity. I guess anything is a whirlwind of activity after spending 2 weeks in a hospital bed. I was finally released from the Hospital on Tuesday afternoon and went straight to an appointment with a neuro oncologist in Dallas. The appointment went as well as I guess I could hope for. There's currently no cure for my cancer, however there are ways to kill the majority of it. This Dr. suggested a combination of chemo and radiation that will start in the next few weeks. In the interest of getting a second opinion I am currently making plans to go down to M.D Anderson in Houston to see another neuro oncologist there. My mother and I flew home Tuesday night a I haven't left my house since. I feel like an elderly person with the number of pills I am required to take right now. I had to go out and get one of those pill organizer things just to keep them all figured out. I still have quite a bit of swelling in my head so the headaches are constant. Other than the headaches, just an overall weak feeling are my only complaints. I'm still waiting on the first person to make a Frankenstein comment which I am sure is soon to come. I can't thank all of you, my family and friends, for the support you have given me over the past couple of weeks. There's no way that I could have made it this far without all of you. I've learned 2 main things over the past couple weeks.

GOD IS GREAT!!!
Never take your friends and family members for granted because they will be there for you in your weakest days.

The next 6 months are going to tough but I have an overall peace knowing that I have GOD, friends, and family on my side. This is nothing that I can not handle. I'm a fighter and this is a fight that I have no doubt I am going to win. Please continue to keep me in your prayers and send positive thoughts my way. Thanks again for all your kind words of support and prayers. I can not explain how much you all have helped me through this difficult time. I look forward to seeing you all real soon.

Just try to tell him NO....

2008-08-18T17:41:00.000-07:00

After two long weeks..... Brian is scheduled to get out of the hospital tomorrow! YEAH!! He is so anxious to be in his own bed and for all the poking and prodding from the nurses to be over! His last couple of days have been great!

On Saturday night he decided that he wanted to go to church on Sunday morning. After asking several nurses and being rejected, Brian decided he was going to go regardless. The chief resident and a few nurses suggested that he go down to the chapel on the bottom floor of the hospital for a short service. What they did not understand was that Brian was going to leave the hospital and go to IBC in Irving. When Brian decides he is going to do something there is really no stopping him! Brian told the nurses that he was going church, and if they wanted they could just think he was out on a long walk. Brian got ready for church, and as we walked past the nurses station he told them he would be back shortly and reminded them not to miss him too much. He was equipped with his Bible, an IV port, a couple of hospital bracelets and two black eyes! He was ready for church! Marshi, Greg, and Melissa met us there and we decided to sit close to the back so that Brian could avoid the masses and the descending stairs. This is a very large church and so we were basically in the nosebleed section! Brian's long legs did not agree with the close confines of the church seating, but besides a few leg cramps he did great! At the end of the service Melissa and I went to the alter to pray during the closing songs. We soon felt a hand on our shoulders.... I figured it was a friend of mine who also attends the church and wanted to come pray with us. I was shocked to look up and see Brian!!! He knelt down and prayed beside us. It was absolutely amazing! The fact that he has walked all the way to the front by himself was incredible! God is so good!

I guess the stairs were not as grueling as I has thought.... or maybe Brian is just amazing!!

definate progress today...

2008-08-17T15:18:00.000-07:00

Brian is looking great!! Today he has been able to be strong and stretch out the amount of time in between his pain injections. He knows this is the ticket home and he is ready to be back in Amarillo!!!

Just a Quick Update on my Progress

2008-08-16T23:15:00.000-07:00

Well it's been about a week and a half since my surgery and wish I could say things have been glorious. I've been in pain pretty much non stop with hard core drugs being the only relief. They are trying to adjust my medications so that I can go home soon. Right now, it looks like Monday may be the day I break out of this joint. I still have a few things to do here in Dallas before I'm able to return home to Amarillo. See an Oncologist, have my staples removed, and schedule a 2nd Oncologist appointment at M.D Anderson in Houston. Through the support of my friends and family I have been able to have a positive attitude over the past week and I want to thank you all for your support. I'm a pretty independent person but just know that I couldn't have made it through to this point with out you. I have had several MRI's and CAT scans over the past week and all have returned positive results. I still have cancer left in my brain and we will begin attacking it over the next few weeks. Please keep me in your prayers and pray that GOD leads me to the right treatment options.

P.S I know that some of you were shocked with the pictures posted following my surgery. Heck, I was shocked when I looked in the mirror. Just know that the swelling is reducing daily and I am returning to the tall, dark, and handsome man you all know and love. Chicks dig scars right?

Brian Lair

update

2008-08-13T14:17:00.000-07:00

Brian's pain has been unbearable these past few days. The doctors are working hard to find the right combination of medicine to subdue his pain. He will not be able to leave the hospital until it is controlled with pills alone. We are hoping that he will be able to leave by Thursday or Friday. Brian has been so strong and has handled the pain very well.

Yesterday Dr. Mickey met with the family late in the evening to discuss the results of the pathology report. He was able to remove 75% of Brian's tumor. Of that tumor, most of it was a grade 2, but over 5% was a grade 3 and therefore it is labeled as a grade 3 tumor. Brian is going to meet with several neuro-oncologist in the next couple of weeks to figure out what the next steps will be as far as treatment options. Brian has a great outlook, and is ready to put up his best fight! Thanks for all your support and prayers!

Lookig better everyday!

2008-08-11T10:42:00.000-07:00

Sorry it has taken so long to get a picture up, but we have been having a few computer problems. These pictures were taken the day after surgery before the swelling got really bad. He is already looking much better! There will be more posted soon.

What A Trooper

2008-08-11T08:44:00.000-07:00

It is crazy to think that it is already the 5th day since Brian's surgery! The 3rd day was definitely the toughest one for Brian. His head throbbed and it was very swollen, both eyes were black, he had a big fat lip, and he was constantly in pain. When he looked in the mirror on the 3rd day his response was that he looked like ET. Since then the swelling has gone down substantially. His eyes are open and now just slightly black! He looks like a million bucks!

Brian has been such a trooper throughout this whole process. Although, the pain is unbearable at times, he never complains. With that being said..... he is also yet to turn down the pain medication! The nurses are so nice here at Zale Lipshy hospital. Brian has won them over with his charm. At times they are not very prompt about bringing his medication, but Brian is always patient. He is now getting up several times throughout each day to walk up and down the halls. He is truly doing great! The doctors have said the he should probably be able to go home on Wednesday. Please continue to pray for a good pathology report tomorrow! Brian is so appreciative of all the prayers and support!

2008-08-08T13:18:00.000-07:00

Brian is doing great today! He is talking and able to carry on conversation. This morning he asked for a mirror to see himself and he was a little shocked by his own reflection. His head is more swollen than yesterday and he has a black eye. Considering the circumstances he looks GREAT!! He is now out of ICU and in a normal room. Thanks for all the prayers! Stay tuned for the latest news.....

Our stepper has taken his first step...

2008-08-07T14:52:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to give everyone an update on how Brian's surgery went. He went into surgery at 7:15 this morning, and was so positive and strong as he was taken away. The hours seemed to last forever as we all prayed while the surgeons did their job. At 1:56 the doctor called Greg, Marshi, Mellisa and Abby back to let them know how the surgery went. Brian did great! The doctor was able to get all that he was expecting to, but unfortunately he was not able to get it all. We will know more of what the next steps will be when the pathology result come in. This could be as early as Tuesday of next week. The doctors do not want to make speculations as to what his treatment will be until the results are in. Until then we will be thinking positive thoughts and pray for good results! At 4:00 we were given 10 minutes to go in and see Brian. In groups of two we all anxiously took our turn! Brian looks great! He is very tired and has a headache.... go figure. We knew that Brian was himself when he immediately started cracking jokes. It was such a relief to see him being himself! Please continue to keep Brian in your prayers as this is just the beginning of a long road!

Diagnosis and Treatment

2008-08-03T13:37:00.000-07:00

On July 23rd I was diagnosed with a Glioma brain tumor following an M.R.I. For the past 6 months I have been having small seizures that prompted me to see a Doctor. On Friday August 1st I saw a Neurosurgeon, Dr. Bruce Mickey, in Dallas who discovered that the tumor was in fact malignant. The prognoses was not good however we now have a plan of action. I am scheduled to have brain surgery on Thursday August 7th at 7:00 am. The goal of the surgery is to remove as much of the tumor as possible. They will then biopsy the tumor to find out the exact type of cancer I have and see what future treatment is needed to remove the remaining tumor. Chemo therapy and/or radiation will be needed. That is all we know right now and anything else is pure speculation at this point. Please keep me in your prayers. We will try to post new information as comes available. Thanks for all your support.

Thanks For Your Thoughts and Prayers

2008-08-03T13:20:00.000-07:00

I've created this blog to keep all my friends and family members updated on my progress through this difficult time. I will do my best to see to it that this is updated as much as possible over the next few weeks/months. I want to thank all of you for the support you have given me over the past couple of weeks. This is a very scary time and only through God's grace and your prayers will I be able to make it through this. I have been asked over and over again what everyone can do for me right now. The one thing I need right now is positive thoughts and prayers. Thank you again for your support and I look forward to being a stronger person when this process is complete.